Those of you who know of the book titled 712 More Things to Draw and similar books like it, I got that book, and I've decided to work on whatever little drawing ability I have. It's especially hard for me to think of picking up a pencil to sketch at a time like this, but I'm trying to pierce the wall.

But enough about me being sick, tired and lacking in inspiration.

Would any of you perhaps like to see the artwork that I have done so far? If yes, I will gladly post it in my art thread. It'd likely be a series of photos rather than scans, but we'll see.

In other news... Seán has put forward the idea of me giving out a free-of-charge demo CD to friends and whoever else out there. It'd involve a few samples of works I've done, to say nothing about everything else that I've recorded. Some are covers, some aren't. Anyway, here are some photos:

Front. Many of you will recognise the artwork (it's this one). Also, the triquetra symbol was edited from something I already drew on my bodhrán skin, so it may probably look familiar to you lot too.

Sidebar.

Tracklist at the back (attention @Phyrnna).

The whole cover design was a simple-ish job, but cutting everything out without a paper guillotine is hellish to say the least. And a few of our jewel cases broke. To top it all off, it'd especially give people a "demo CD" vibe when there's no sticky label on the CD proper. Quite literally, it's what came out of the box of CDs. All I did was scrawl on the CDs with a marker, that was it. Oh well. The most hellish bit was that Seán and I started this at about 2-something in the afternoon, and we had to get done for 6-something, because I had choir practice last night at church and we were hoping to give out some copies to my friends in the choir then. We weren't even sure if we were going to finish the first batch!

Well, the first batch is done. More batches may come soon.

All songs can be found on Newgrounds, with just about the same titles.

That's about it for now, I guess. Slow activity, progress, healing, etc. otherwise. I thank you for your continued thoughts, prayers and support, and I ask that it may keep coming.

Ta for now,

T.

Sorry to you folks who have not heard from me in a while; I have been sick. And travelling down south. And being sick while travelling is not fun. >_<

So quick updates:

1. I'd spent the last two days down in London and in my old home of Hatfield, Hertfordshire, because Seán and I had planned this trip well in advance and we'd already booked the tickets. And we both weren't well. Oh well, we did enjoy those two days, and it was good to see old friends again, but I need my rest. My body feels rather battered.
2. On the subject of old friends, one of my friends from Hatfield has passed away. Just writing my thoughts here, but in addition to praying for the repose of her soul, I would really like to pen a piece of music in her honour. I hope I do get to it...
3. I am considering remaking one of my previous tracks. Specifically, it is a cover, or a slew of covers all mixed into one. I am talking about Capriccio Bullet Heaven, a series of covers of @Phyrnna's works from Bullet Heaven.
4. I commentated on two Let's Play videos on behalf of the Kingdom Hearts Wiki, as a user on there. You can view said videos here and here. And..... yeah, I was certainly not at my best there, and still am not, to a great extent.
5. Otherwise, I've had a very slow artistic/musical period. I'm going through a phase where I feel the hope within me is fast getting extinguished. It's just... you know, the usual signs of a depressed artist: feeling useless, unable to touch hearts, feeling inadequate, facing a series of traumatic recalls of memories from my youth that have led me to the state that I'm in now, etc., etc., etc. I would very much appreciate your prayers and good thoughts.
6. The NG 20th Anniversary Collab should be beginning soonish, I think. The way I see it, audio should begin by mid-February, or early March. Get us about a month, or a month and a half (or two months tops) to do our bit. Then, we give what we have to our artist and animator friends, and they'll do their bit. For my part, I'll be glad to contribute actively to this thing, and perhaps be on a panel of organisers....... but I cannot do this thing alone. With sickness etc. getting in the way, I don't think it wise to do this alone.

So that's it from me for now. In case you're wondering why I'm relatively silent, this is what's been going on. It's a lot to take in, maybe, but I trust I'm not alone going through this stuff. My thoughts and prayers go out to those of you who are going through similar circumstances, and anyone else besides who asks for them.

Thing is, I recently was gifted a drawing tablet -- it's a Trust Flex -- and I'd like to make livestreams of my drawings in progress, whenever possible. And ideally, I'd like to keep it open source. Trouble is, the last time I installed screen capture software, I installed CamStudio several months ago.... that went to pot, because it just wouldn't run.

So. What do you lot recommend? I'd like to hear your thoughts. In the meantime, here's a picture from my art thread, just because:

In the meantime, some more music is coming. Just a month ago I mentioned that @frootza and I are engaging in a virtual bodhrán duel. I hope to be recording my part either today or within the next few days. Advent, Christmas and New Year just caught up with me, and I couldn't record my part sooner. So.... prepare yourselves for a primal drumming feast!

First off, I hope everyone has a cause to enjoy themselves this Christmas. I'm with you in spirit, regardless of whether you can or cannot enjoy yourselves this season. I would also like to warn you that this is a long post, and there is no TL;DR that I can attach here.

Vigil Mass was great; I sensed a deep awe and wonder at the birth of Christ. In addition to that, I'd been assigned to the bodhrán and the timpani... I'd been made general drummer. Coming from someone like me, those of you who know me well would perhaps know what this means. Those of you who don't: I am a complete animal on the drums. I show my passions so easily when playing percussion. It was beautiful, it was enjoyable, and it was my prayer.

It is still Christmastide, so I am still going to celebrate as much as I can.

As for those of you wondering what I got for Christmas: I have posted a few times on the forums as well as on some people's news posts stating the presents I have received thus far (i.e. opened on Christmas Eve, after the Vigil Mass. Technically, it's Christmas as soon as the Vigil Mass starts, whenever that may be). So far, they are as follows:

1. Two Chocolate Oranges (sorry, I already ate them between Christmas Eve and today...)
2. A box of chocolates (no, I didn't touch that one yet)
3. A box of shortbread (no, as much as I like shortbread, I didn't touch that one yet either)
4. A small bottle of vodka (no, I didn't touch that yet either...)
5. A vanilla-scented candle.
6. Some lovely-smelling bath salts.
7. A Raspberry Pi.
8. Full access to Versilian Studios' VSTi (thank you @Samulis!)
9. A 19-string Irish harp! (thank you Seán a.k.a. @IrishChieftain!)

I hear there is at least one more present in the pipeline, but I haven't had the opportunity to receive it yet. I'll see what it is in due time.

So, some photos for your enjoyment. Descriptions provided where necessary, of course:

The Raspberry Pi setting up. It's got four USB slots, an HDMI slot, micro SD and jack plug plus power. It's also got a network adaptor, so I can go online with it. I was so excited looking at this screen, I digested everything that appeared on screen. I got the Raspberry Pi so that I can learn how to code: the Pi is made specifically for that purpose, to encourage computer enthusiasts to code. Flash intimidates me (and is quite obsolete, let's be honest), and I need somewhere where I can start on.

The other reason why I want to code is..... well, this: some of you may remember me posting pictures and tracks for a certain bullet hell shooter in progress known as Project Chaplaincy. I was on the verge of abandoning it when I had tried to look for someone to collaborate with me on this, but everyone whom I approached just refused, and one person publicly ridiculed me. But Seán and @HalcyonicFalconX both encouraged me not to give up, in more ways than one. No programmers? Simple solution: I'm doing this on my own.

This is the actual computer. This is the actual size of it. Those are Seán's fingers. There is a plastic case for it. Yeah.... you can imagine how small this thing really is. Being a small thing, it's not going to be as high-end or as powerful as a gaming rig or a musician's computer. However, the functionality is equal to that of a budget netbook at least. And all of this for £27. Now, it's capable of running many operating systems (popular choices are Android and Linux, and some have even run it on Windows) -- but I've run it on Raspbian, the recommended OS for novice users of the Pi.

I'm quite happy with what I've seen thus far. Seán and I hope to learn this together.

The bath salts, tipple of vodka and chocolates. Mmm. I'm not about to indulge in them just yet, but I think they can come in very handy for some stressful situations in the future.

My harp. Upon seeing it @etherealwinds welcomed me to the proverbial club! ^_^ This is an instrument I have longed for, for quite a while. Seán had me completely in the dark, giving me clues, hints and misdirection. He'd confused me enough to think that 1) it wasn't a harp, 2) it was some sort of multi-coloured monstrosity. At present-opening time he held it out to me while my eyes were still closed... and there we go. I was just moved..... I didn't really know what to think. I wanted to laugh, I wanted to cry.

Like with my bodhrán, I have taken the liberty of giving this harp a name. It now goes by the name Síle (pronounced 'Sheila'; the Irish form of 'Cecilia').

There's a photo of me posing with it in the 'Show NG your instrument thread'; I'm not going to post it here but if you'd like to see me posing with it, kindly look it up in the search bar above.

I'm slowly turning Irish: I have bodhráns, a harp, a tin whistle... and I am slowly picking up an Irish accent off Seán... Only thing I can't change, of course, is how I look. Seán looks and is Irish; I don't think I have a hope in hell of ever coming anywhere close. Indians aren't known for red hair. Dark brown hair, maybe, but not pale, Elvish skin.

I mentioned in the gift-opening thread for this year's NG Audio Secret Santa that I'd put my thoughts down in this post. A lot can be said about this year's Audio Secret Santa. For those among you who do not know what it's all about, allow me to explain:

Imagine you are person A, and then there's person B, and person C. You make a present in the form of an original song for person C, person C makes a song for person B, and person B makes a song for you. It's all secret, you have no idea what it's going to be like..... until Christmas Day, when you get to open your present. Now imagine this, with far more participants.

For starters, @Stupor said that this is the first Audio Secret Santa to have had the attention it received -- a notice about it was posted on the front page. As such, many people turned up. By many, I mean 50+. This is a wonderful turnout. I find it beautiful: it encourages giving, it encourages composition. It encourages you to break out of your stupor (pardon the unintentional pun) of depression or whatever, and break the proverbial wall preventing you from honing your craft. If the piece you are meant to do is of a different genre to what you're used to, it promotes going out of your comfort zone, and allows you to learn something new. Each person can get a different lesson from the Audio Secret Santa, and this is what I enjoy thoroughly. I took part in last year's Audio Secret Santa, and I felt the same too.

Every event that we try and put together is going to have its problems, and I will list them down here. As a participant, this is what I observe:

1. Shirking participants. Stupor acknowledges that every year, there are going to be a number of people who put down what they would like to receive as a gift. But these same people don't make pieces in return (or forget to, etc.). Now there are genuine emergencies, or it can be that things overwhelm people. It is Christmastide, after all. Things do get terribly busy. This, I understand. But I know we'd really appreciate it if we know whether people are going to be able to make a piece, or whether they can't, or whether they're just going to be lazy and not do anything. Whatever our reasons, it's best to let us know -- not leave us hanging without an explanation.
2. Quality control. A number of us who are taking part are either seasoned musicians, or at least know a thing or two about making a decent piece. We have had at least one submission in our portfolio here on NG with a minimum score of 3.50/5.00. Unless someone has asked for us to make the worst piece possible for them this Christmas, we generally put in effort into making our gift. It's the thought that counts, yes, but thoughts come with effort. If you're giving a gift to someone, you don't make it half-hearted, do you? -- unless you have a great amount of spite for that person, in which case, I recommend, don't fecking give him a gift at all. I know many people here have toiled hard to make their pieces sound good, to their giftees' liking. Sadly, I can also hear when someone's put hardly any effort in.
3. Lack of feedback. I see many people who have received feedback on the songs they've made. I myself have tried to give feedback. But some of us haven't received any thoughts on whether our giftees liked our songs, or not. Maybe some of us might have received it through PM or Skype, in which case, great -- but some of us don't even know at all! I know I don't want to be pushy and all, but consider this: if someone's made you a gift from his heart, toiled hard to make it and deliver it to you on the date, and you act like you don't care (or you don't say anything), how is that person going to feel? One can always hope the giftee likes the gift, but one can never be so sure.

Well, these are my thoughts in a nutshell. I suppose I need to let the 12 days of Christmas pass before I give any final thoughts. Much of my reactions are ultimately going to depend on what the participants do, after all. Still, I just thought I'd throw it out there.

Right, that's it from me for now. This post has been long enough. Ta for now,

T.

This is my second (third?) post on Newgrounds written in anticipation of Christmas Day. Just because I can't tell if it's the second or third post, I'm just going to attach X2 onto the title. There are worrisome times and events all around, but I'm trying to keep strong -- and I'm really looking forward to this Christmastide.

I will soon be leaving for the Vigil Mass. It's something I anticipate each year, and I think it's the best part of Christmas altogether. This time, Seán is coming with me. It'll be our first Christmas as a couple. Tomorrow, I will be writing about a few things:

1. The Christmas Vigil Mass and subsequent events -- I'd like to share with others what it's like. In addition, I'm one of the musicians for said Mass -- one of two sopranos, as well as general percussionist.
2. My thoughts about this year's Audio Secret Santa -- since each participant will be receiving his gift tomorrow.
3. And, what many people look forward to -- the list of presents I will be receiving. Now, I am excited about this, but this is not what I'm most excited about. Word has come from Seán that one of these gifts is an instrument. He's given me a lot of clues and hints, using misdirection where he needed to... you see, he's confused me enough to make me believe that there's some sort of multi-coloured monstrosity waiting for me somewhere in the house. Because of the video meme When Mum Isn't Home, I had thoughts that the instrument waiting for me is a FRIDGE.

Anyway. Enough of my madness for now.

I wish everyone a happy and blessed Christmas!

Today was the grand opening of the Harris Open -- a public exhbition of artwork from the people of Preston, Lancashire. Well... it's called the "Harris Open" because it takes place in the Harris Museum and Art Gallery, this magnificent neoclassical building in the centre of Preston.

I submitted two pieces to this exhibition, Journey at the Speed of Light and Idealised Self-Portrait. These art pieces, along with many others, will be on display until 10 January 2015.

If any of you live in Preston, Lancashire (or in the surrounding areas) or are able to go to Preston within this time period, do come and visit the Harris if you can! If you are checking out the Harris Open, or have already checked it out, I would love to hear your thoughts.

Before I end this post, I would like to share some pictures Seán and I took on the opening night.

By the way, my drawings are number 221 and 235 respectively.

Hey everyone. Just a quick shout to those of you who have Steam (especially Audio Portal users and commenters who have Steam) -- I'm on Steam, and I'd like to add you.

My username is PrestonLass. Yes, because I had a previous account under the name 'Troisnyx' and that didn't go very far.

Hope to see you all there!

And on the subject of Steam, I would like to ask if anyone (especially @matt-likes-swords) can help solve this problem.

Now, I have been playing the Steam version of Epic Battle Fantasy IV on my fiancé's computer. I was gifted it as a result of doing some fanart, like a few of you have been. Because I didn't have a computer suited for running Steam but Seán did, I ran it on his computer, and got a lot of medals on it.

Just yesterday or the day before, he gifted a copy of EBFIV to me, and I now have it on Steam on my new computer.

Trouble is, that version of EBFIV comes with the saves that I had on his computer.

Which means I have the saves on Epic difficulty, and am in the middle of my third run of the game.

Which means I have been locked out of a bunch of medals on my profile which I am supposed to get when I start a new game.

There is no method of deleting these saves or starting over. Matt, can you please help? All the information given on Steam's helpline about circumventing this problem is backdated, because Steam's layout has changed so drastically.

This is the third time in two years that I have reported PC failure.

Just like the first PC that gave up the ghost on me, the last one I had -- the desktop I got from Seán -- had motherboard failure.

I hate that this happens to me with such frequency... as much as I am inclined to beat myself up for "breaking the last computer," I know it sure as hell wasn't my fault. I turned it on in front of Seán, Google Chrome was crashing, he asked me to turn on Internet Explorer, I turned it on, and then it just fizzled out.

We all know IE was a piece of twaddle, but come on, you've got to be kidding me.

I received this brand-new computer as a gift today. It's a considerable upgrade and downsize, if you look at it from different sides. Personally, I'm quite pleased, and simply grateful to have this.

I mean, when it comes to production and writing dossiers and stuff, I would need regular use of a PC. It was hard to find something that would be good for both, but here it is I guess.

It's a massive upgrade to the previous Acer Aspire I had (some of you audio folks might remember me talking about an 8-year-old Acer Aspire with broken screen hinges and missing keys). This is not that Acer Aspire. This one runs on Core i3, has 1TB hard drive storage, and 8GB RAM. And it's a reddish shade of purple, which I do like. *cue wallpapers of Megurine Luka simply because her colour is that*

So this post is a bit of a mixed bag. I kinda feel overwhelmed, grateful, pleased and frustrated at the same time.

There are at least two projects in the works for the end of this year.

First, I am one of many who signed up for the Audio Secret Santa 2015. I don't know whom I'll be writing music for, but I suppose, if it's something to drag me out of my depressive stupor and start composing, it's something to celebrate. I'm looking forward to this.

Second, and much closer to my heart, is a drum duel -- specifically, a bodhrán duel -- that I am doing along with @Frootza. Recording on this has already begun, and should hopefully finish soon. I must tell you all that from what I heard coming from his side, Frootza is a marvellous bodhrán player. Great sense of rhythm, and I am enjoying the idea of this duel already.

That's it for now, I guess.

Ta for now,

T. x

Guess what.

It's another blooming drum. Or rather...

...whatever this monstrosity is called. I've seen bongo drums in pairs; I have no idea what a set of three is called.

Seán and I were walking past the local market when he gave this excited shout of "Annette, look left: there are drums!" I looked and I thought I initially saw two pairs of bongos, presuming one was behind the other. Then we came up close and then we saw... well, this. It was going for £15, we needed a replacement for our bongos, and this was too good an offer to pass. We did give it a little test play before buying it -- it sounded lovely, but to be fair, it was a cold, wet, windy day, and this market was an outdoor market, so it wasn't a good benchmark for what its actual sound was.

We put this in a heated room just to let the skins dry out, and then I gave it a bit of a play. I can safely say that even when it's warm and dry, it sounds marvellous. I'd like to do a demonstration of sorts sometime, once it's restored, and if everything goes to plan, I might throw in the other percussions we have. Might. And if that goes to plan, I hope to push Seán's camera skills to the limit...

In other news, I'm slowly healing from that depressive period. I can't say I know how well I'm doing -- only that I am feeling and looking at things better than when I last wrote. I've been spending the last few days finishing off Jak & Daxter: The Precursor Legacy, but not up to 100%. If anyone has tips on how to get some of these elusive Power Cells, I'll be very grateful.

I'm now revisiting Final Fantasy X, a game known for its in-universe strawman dialogue. And awesome battles, awesome music, and RPG character stereotypes. Let the fun times roll!

The last piece of music I submitted on NG had a great show of apathy from many whom I hold in high regard and consider friends. I've also noticed that over the last few months, comments on my posts have greatly decreased.

I feel greatly disillusioned with my talents... no, let me rephrase that. At times I feel sick, tired, DONE with this, I feel as if I am throwing my music to a blooming brick wall! I am at the point of resolving never to compose or draw ever again. At times I have relented upon being given encouragement from those dear to me, but the hurt just comes back.

And I asked for prayers and/or good thoughts for my fiancé's mother, who has been diagnosed with cancer, in the last post, only to have no response on the matter.

I do not ask to be famous. I only ask to have support from my friends -- which, over these last few months, has been sorely lacking -- except for a few kind-hearted souls, you know who you are.

I accept that I bowed out of the Deathmatch fairly -- but some posters (some of whom I consider my friends) lavished a huge amount of praise on the opponents saying "Go and crush your competitor(s)!" I was crushed alright -- the day I got the results was also the day my fiancé's mother got her diagnosis.

Three weeks of sodding hard work and dedication, to be slapped on the face with precisely this? Safe to say, I don't believe hard work even brings reward anymore. In fact: I am now of the view that hard work is only going to get trampled on.

And in addition, I felt that some people on the contest threads were behaving like actual smug gits. Perhaps they didn't intend to, but to me, they came across as such. I mean no ill-will to anyone, and I will gladly reconcile -- but I do feel a great hurt, one that is unable to heal. I have prayed hard to be able to forgive people for the hurt they've caused, albeit unintentionally. Safe to say, I am not at my best right now.

I have been known to suffer with serious bouts of depression at times, and my fiancé says I have an artist's mentality, comparing me to Van Gogh and others (although, I wouldn't take the liberty of comparing myself to him, since he did great work and I, well, don't.) Seán keeps trying to encourage me -- at times he succeeds, and at times he has to wrench a knife or a pair of scissors out of my hands.

The reasons for these bouts are known to only a few; I feel unable to share them with the majority of people. My life is still very uncertain at this time.

If anyone cares anymore, then please pray or send good thoughts my way that this depression lifts.