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Pronounced "trwa-nix." I dream up meepy dreams full of meep.
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Annette Singh @Troisnyx

29, Female


Lancashire, UK

Joined on 6/26/11

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Comments (12)

I wonder if time is a factor in these things.
Do you need a hypothetical?

I doubt that time is a factor personally, I believe it's more to do with what we are at peace with and whether we can actually make peace with any of the people involved.

Time can be a healer, but if someone is set in their ways, then all the reaching out ain't gonna do a thing; the most we can do is watch from a distance, dreading that some of these same actions are bound to happen again.

There isn't a whole heck of a lot I can say to you that I have not already said, but I will say this: I hope the person who allegedly did do all the grooming and manipulation and whatnot is brought to justice, and some form of finality can be reached. Your question "what do we do in cases like these" is, well, almost unanswerable to those who have either not experienced said travesties or not known anyone who has. The only thing that can be done right now is what you stated: talk about the art as well as the artist behind it. Now, I am one of those people willing to separate the art from the artist if I like the art itself, but do not like the artist, but I also agree that there are cases where the artist's actions are so reprehensible that it's nigh impossible to do that within moral reasoning. Just know that you have people you can talk to whenever and if ever you feel you need to. Whatever you don't wish to relay does not have to be relayed, and whatever you do wish to relay is up to you to do so. Stay strong, my friend.

Actually, what I meant was, what if what the person has done is in the distant past, with never a repeat of the same (or other) horrible actions? Could you look past it then? I know a man who raped and killed 5 guys for raping his then underage daughter over 40 years ago. I can definitely look past it, and not just because killing them for harming a family member was noble.

I would never excuse someone who kills or rapes in retribution. NEVER. There may be mitigating factors but it still doesn't "excuse" the action.

As for whether I can excuse the person's behaviour after no repeats, let me put it this way—

I'd gladly show mercy to them.

The mercy is what moves people to admit fault and learn from what happened, and endeavour to not let it happen to others again, especially the people they hurt.

But, if they treat that mercy like trash, or if they're obstinate about what they do, don't learn anything, still get a kick out of their actions, or worse — blame the victim for their own advances long after the deed was done — then it's on them.

That I can understand. I believe that what the guy I mentioned did was a crime of passion, and when it comes to family, people can be the most emotionally intense over it.
But the way I look at people, it's about what you do now, not what you used to do.
I mean, you used to shit your pants all the time, right? So who's to say anything has changed? Judging someone for their past actions would be like that: "You used to shit your pants, so you do now and shall forever."

The person I talked about in the first instance allegedly did this over a span of years, having been previously confronted over it but not having changed his ways. I daresay he *worsened* as the years went by, and if recent testimony is to be believed, this culminated with coercive behaviour as recently as a few months ago.

I'm all for people changing — but again, in the case of obstinacy, I am doubtful that they will change.

If later (even much later) evidence suggests that they are painfully, slowly changing their behaviour, I will reconsider. But in my time observing people's behaviour towards myself and others, both in my ordinary capacity as an everyman AND as a NG moderator, I've seen enough of this obstinacy to know where it leads.

So we're on the same page, then.
That's what I really wanted to know, as your post didn't indicate that.
Good talk.

I'm sorry to hear this. Discovering that a friend has been harmful to someone, especially to another friend, is its own brand of heartbreak.

I agree with the maxim of preserving the art, in a general sense. Whether it be their own or part of a collaboration, I do not believe in forced removal of expression, even if the creator's legacy has been altered by their actions.

Your own publications, however, are personal. It is, instead, your creation that has been tainted by someone else's actions. If you do not wish to leave them up, then they should no longer be here. I support that decision.

And I wish you well, through everything. Feel free to reach out.

I too have projects and posts on here that I would rather pretend didn't exist but they're a part of my history now. The thought of banning every single movie that Harvey Weinstein was involved with, or Michael Jackson's songs for that matter is hard to bear. I'd like to look beyond that. Our creations are like children and I think it would be a shame to persecute content simply for having reprehensible parents. You might own rights to a project, but in a sense it's not truly yours anymore. It's not that your project exists for your enjoyment alone because it extends beyond that and spreads joy to others as well. Give it some thought though, it's not an easy decision.

Re: the three fragments I unpublished, I want to enlist someone else — the original, very first voice of a character we created, before this dude took over. I may not have the files but I can certainly recreate them from memory, and with much better mixing this time.

@Whirlguy Oh, and I might add: the three fragments were gifts to a close friend of mine.

Said close friend would eventually discover this dude's awful behaviour and out of respect for her at least, I can't conceivably have the three fragments of music up in their current state.

I can't help but hate this "grooming" person; the worse fact is that it was a friend of yours, and therefore you probably thought he was a good guy beforehand. "What to do in cases like these?" I don't know, there isn't one universal answer; personally, I would cut every contact with said person, and don't stop thinking about him/her until I'm sure justice is brought on him/her. Either way, the emotional pain is massive :(

Done, yeah. I did hold him in high regard. We weren't exactly close, but we at least were on good talking terms...

I hope that his victims find justice and that he actually changes, accepts the weight of what he's done.

Really sorry to hear about this - I completely get why you would do this.

Hope you are staying safe :)

You already know that. There are good and bad people on Earth. The bad people have a bad mind and think like a BAD person. You can't control that and this is the result. Meet people before you do anything with them. I am really sorry bout what happened.

@SirLoineStake Me too!