Welcome to my world, not a bad place to be
Composer, percussionist, artist, self-backing choir.
For inquiries, composition comms, art comms, or session work, HMU at mail@troisnyx.co.uk
Annette Walker
@Troisnyx
Age 33, she/they
Choir Director
Lancashire, UK
Joined on 6/26/11
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BecomeTheFridge
Apologies for the rambling reply.... Just my odd thoughts in response to your well-thought-out post.
I'm about ten years into my art journey (I didn't start seriously investing time into it until about November 2012), and I'm starting to notice a lot of the things you've pointed out.
On the note of artbooks, while I don't get overwhelmed in the same way, my ASD brain (I was technically diagnosed with Aspergers about 20-ish years ago) has difficulties with focusing on one particular path, especially when two or more extremely good books provide intuitively conflicting approaches.
People's rigidity towards how folk "should" learn (including their gripes about learning the fundamentals, avoiding tracing, etc.) seems to be an inherent problem passed down from the educational system. Even the more well-meaning teachers and artists become blind to the fact that not everyone can learn the same way.
Anatomy, a topic that I am deeply obsessed with mastering, has escaped my full intuitive grasp, and I probably won't have a full hold of it for another decade or more.
It's taken me a decade, but I'm finally starting to accept how I personally learn, regardless of the regiments others might preach. As a perfectionist, that's not an easy battle, and it's a mental war I'll be waging with myself for the foreseeable future.
Troisnyx
My neurodivergence (I'm not sure *which* yet, I'm afraid) has not only made it hard in the ways that you've described, but it's also made it hard for me to find the words to describe why I'm getting the heebie-jeebies from the art forum, and why I have been for years.
So when I finally types this out, it felt truly liberating. My only regret is that it took me years to put words to this abusive behaviour. I'm calling it what it is: abusive. Because these are some of the same people who, when I became friends with them in the hopes of learning from them, constantly made fun of me specifically, gaslit me about our friendship, and said nothing but awful things about my art without giving me any indication of improvement.
Those who continue to be helpful and accepting of various different styles of learning are there, but they're exceptions to the rule, I feel. I'm also inclined to believe that the people who do get FPed are far removed from that community aspect, which does help them as they don't get bogged down — they learn and they simply do as they can. And that's all we can do at the end of the day.
I'm grateful for the art mods, because they're not gatekeepers in that sense. Of course they're gonna maintain a standard of quality and adhere to the rules. But they're not gonna judge us for our journey re: how we got there, how we came to doing nice art while adhering to NG rules. They stand above the community, in more ways than one.
Thank you for your thoughtful reply.