Hello, my friend.
Firstly, I pray for Seàn's mother's health. I cannot say that I know the feeling since, by the grace of God, I've no close family members or relatives that have such an illness.
I have been a little occupied with things regarding the future of my studies and thus I am sorry for disappearing for a while: usually I would never miss a chance to comment on your posts and review your submissions.
You have exceptional talent, Troisnyx. A few hours ago, I listened to your 'Terre Des Hommes Libres' album again (returned to your music after a couple of months, I must admit) and the enchantment felt from hearing it again was rekindled.
So it worries me to read about your bouts of depression and I feel that the only thing I can do is offer words of encouragement and hope that God's undying guidance will help you through this time.
Don't Van Gogh yourself, whatever you do. Those ears are invaluable to the creation of magical compositions.
Pay no mind to the smugness or sly words of others. I support you as the amazing musician and artist that you are, and no person's comments or contest is going to change that.
-Potent
kkots
I imagine myself on the place of Seán. It must be excruciatingly difficult to keep your spirits up all the time despite you getting hurt again and again and again. Being a support also means having a plan or some prepared set of actions for every occasion - that takes extra thinking effort to conceive. Delving into your psyche and making correct assumptions on what is the most effective way of helping you.
Seán is a superhero.
Why are you getting hurt because of outside people? They are not needed to enjoy art. Don't you want to create solely for the sake of God's glory? And God is in secret.
If I knew that people hate my work (not noticing it is OK, but hate is another thing), I wouldn't put it out but keep doing it for myself. I'm really so disconnected from the society, that theoretically I could afford that. I'm not sure you're that kind of person or are able to change to that :S
I'm sorry for missing the post where you asked for your fiance's well-being.
Please, don't feel sad.
Just forget about people. If you can't forgive them, you can at least pretend you never were angry at them. And do your own thing.
Troisnyx
Seán is a superhero indeed; at least *my* superhero. <3 I have said this before to people I know, and this is probably the first time that I mention it on NG but: those who know me dearly have seen me at my worst in some way, shape or form. I can safely say that Seán has seen the worst of the worst, and has stood by me still, and for that, I am eternally grateful -- to God and to him.
This hurt has its roots in my childhood and adolescence, where abuse and manipulation were commonplace occurrences for me. I don't carry many of the physical scars of that period anymore, but I do certainly carry the internal ones. Being beaten up, belittled and having one's dreams torn to shreds by one's parents, all because one has a passion for something different, is by no means trivial. Suffice to say, I am awful with rejection -- because I have felt it so much in my early life, and neglect can sometimes be seen as a form of rejection too.
I've always wanted my witness to be a public thing. Our Lord is in secret, yes -- but I also know first-hand what it's like to be repressed for believing in Christ. I cannot yet reveal the circumstances behind such repression -- but it's certainly made me more than a private believer. Yes, where I find someone is in need, I help where I can, and that stuff is secret -- but deep in my heart, I want to be able to tell people about Our Lord, or at least let them know through sound and expression, what it's like to deeply love Him. To a great extent therefore, I can't be disconnected from society. Sometimes I do feel disconnected, but I feel I can't afford to be...
Thanks for your thoughts and prayers and encouragement -- I can only offer my thoughts and prayers in return at this point, but I don't doubt Our Lord will do the rest.