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Pronounced "trwa-nix." I dream up meepy dreams full of meep.
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Annette Singh @Troisnyx

29, Female


Lancashire, UK

Joined on 6/26/11

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Year in review + Christmas update

Posted by Troisnyx - December 23rd, 2017

So in two hours it'll be Christmas Eve, and I normally do my Christmas update on Christmas Eve, but I'm going to have a very long day ahead of me tomorrow. I'll have three Masses to sing or play at in 24 hours, and that's just the start of it.



The most important recent development is that Seán, my fiancé, started a petition on my behalf, which seems to have done a little more than just smoulder. After suffering the incompetence of the Home Office multiple times over the last few years, Seán had had enough. (Well, so did I, but I was actually terrified of said petition. I put up a newspost about it on NG earlier but I didn't dare put it on the front page, and if I signalled people to it, I did so via private message because it was so hard for me to talk about it.)

But now, I shouldn't be afraid anymore. This thing is going FP.

And the news that really made it start to feel like Christmas for me was that I received a letter from one of the canons of the Archbishop of York (yes, John Sentamu, the one who famously cut up his collar upon hearing of Mugabe's abuses, and wore it back when Mugabe resigned). It looks like the Archbishop's going to write on my behalf.

The news came to me as a pleasant surprise, and I'm just grateful.



Over the last four weeks or so, the Soundskills people and I worked on a Christmas parody song, called Another Flippin' Christmas Song. I discovered today that the song's been frontpaged, and it put a little smile on my face. Thanks to whoever did this.

Suffering Home Office incompetence this month made it even harder for me to finish recording said song, but we all persevered. Seán is determined to not have me give up on my solo works at all, even if I feel like due to my dwindling mental health I've had to put a moratorium on solo works for the time being.



This year had one major project which went successfully, that is to say, that of Mio/Homura EXTEND ver. and its associated music video.

It would not have come to fruition were it not for Seán begging me, over the last few years, to revisit this. Past newsposts of mine reveal all the emotions I went through prior to the release of this song, and the positivity it brought when the video was finished.

This year also saw Seán and me move into our new home together. It has been a blessing for us to be together all the time, as opposed to families and major illnesses tearing us apart.



But otherwise, this entire year was a shit year. My mental health's worsened, Seán's physical health has worsened, I have been plagued by nightmares in my sleep nearly every night this year, and have been fucked around by bureaucracy in spite of having nothing to hide with regards to my past trauma and my engagement to Seán. I've had people happily assume that I'm something I'm not, over the course of this entire year, that I'm somehow making my past up.

I wish I made my past up. I wish I did, so that I don't have to bother people with these bad news stories that cannot escape my mind. I had an abusive family, I grew up in an abusive state, and I still reel from it every single day, with the memories and nightmares coming back to me unbidden. On many occasions I'd wanted to kill myself, and nearly did so multiple times too, because I was very much crushed, and I still don't know what justifies this sorry excuse of a life, or even its search for freedom and vindication. The only person keeping me alive right now is Seán, and he is also the person driving my creativity forward where I cannot do so on my own.

And as if it isn't bad enough that I feel like I'm carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders, Seán did not recover the Mio/Homura dress when he moved out of his old place and now it's gone forever. There has been so much confusion and I'm fucking sick of it.

I wish for none of this to happen to anyone, not even to Seán. So to those of you who have indeed had a shit year, the least I can give right now is a virtual hug, and a shoulder to cry on. This is the one gift I think I can give NG this Christmas.

Now I'd best end this post, because I'm up early for the 4th Sunday of Advent Mass tomorrow, and I will be drumming again for the Christmas Vigil Mass in the evening. I hope Christmastide treats you all as kindly as it possibly can this year, and I hope that the new year shall bring hope. But even am doubtful of that.

Comments (6)

You know that you also have shoulders to cry on, yourself. I honestly wish you were making this stuff up, too, because you and Seán don't deserve to suffer the way you both have. The well-wishes and good tidings need to come to you more than ever, and I hope in some way I can help bring some light to your otherwise darkened world. I just wish I knew how. You have me on Twitter and what not, so you can come to me at any time if you so wish, if ever you have need of me. I really hope for the best for you, my friend.

hey, there's always hope. don't forget that.
Also, I really loved Another Flippin' Christmas Song :D

Virtual hug reciprocated. Annette, very few people can truly understand and realize what you're going through and appreciate your origin story. Very few people have been through anything remotely as traumatizing as you've had it. Nonetheless, there's always a reason to keep on going. You're a survivor Annette. You're also, as you stated, a contributing member of your community in real life and on NG, Discord, etc. Life would be worse without you, so please keep fighting the good fight.

They say God works in mysterious ways and sometimes doesn't explain the atrocities he presents to us, his children. However, divine fate will be revealed in due time. There's definitely a greater reason for all this. Perhaps he realizes the only way for humans to learn, read the government to learn, is to have people suffer in order for them to see what they're doing to themselves and their people. It's not good, it's terrible, unfair, and insensitive.

Trauma sucks, and no one deserves it unless they've done to others. My Mother's in a wheelchair with diabetes, neurophothy, arthritis, amnesia, and a slew of other physical conditions she'll never admit to me. I know what it's like to have a loved one in physical disarray. You deserve better Annette, and if you keep up your good work and service to the world I'm sure God will gift thee with your righteous and well-merited reward.

I know I'm not the best at this whole social circle, feelings thing, but I love you, and I feel for you. If you ever need a prayer, drop me a line.

Ps, I /think/ I finished Re:Reveris if you wanna hear it. I'm still not sure if it sounds bad because I've been in the DAW too long, lol.

You know I do, always appreciate one.


I'll be on discord in a bit. It's lunch time over here. After that I'll hit the sack. Stayed up working on the song for ya

I don't get UK immigration law, so many fuckups, but now I feel really grateful that they let you stay.

stay strong, don't let the world stop you from doing what you love.

They haven't, not yet anyway. We're still fighting for it.