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composer + artist • she/her • loves drums • advocate for emotional literacy in music • meep • EN/FR OK

Annette Singh @Troisnyx

30, Female

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Lancashire, UK

Joined on 6/26/11

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All will be well.

Posted by Troisnyx - September 1st, 2014


When I started posting music online altogether in 2010, all I had was Audacity and a phone mic -- which, at the time, recorded in really horrible-sounding .3gp files. I didn't understand the need for a studio, or even the idea of making music the way I do now.

When I started posting music on Newgrounds in 2011, I had nothing but a laptop and an integrated PC mic. I also had the demo version of FL Studio, only for it to become the Signature Bundle by the grace of a friend.

I remember posting this picture in early 2013 when I had a few more belongings to my name, notably a bodhrán and a set of bells.

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I was still browsing the "Show NG your instrument" thread and I decided to share what I had -- and I couldn't deny that it felt like so little. Regardless, this was a time when songs like Terre des Hommes Libres and Journey to Stonyhurst were churned out, and it proved to be a bit of an uplift compared to what I previously had.

Someone did tell me on the forums that he trusted that as time passed I would have access to better instruments and gear in general, and be able to churn out better stuff. I didn't see how it would happen, nor did I imagine it happening, but I trusted it would. In the interim, I tried to make do with what little I had.

Somewhere along the line the HP in the picture above gave up the ghost, and I wound up with a rickety, eight-year-old Acer laptop with missing keys, broken screen hinges and a Celeron processor. It was, quite literally, falling apart. But from it came Sleep Wrapped in Love and Chant de l'Éveil -- the latter was my audition for this year's Newgrounds Audio Deatmhatch (NGADM). While I am glad the song got attention for having improved production quality compared to works from previous years, I still look back and wonder how on earth I ever actually had the patience to finish it.

 

A year and a half later (since the picture above)...

 

With help from people here and there -- my friends, and most especially my fiancé, I have now progressed to this. Much of the description of my hardware can be found here.

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Again, I never imagined that I would come to this stage. It happened, bit by bit, with a lot of help from friends along the way.

I really want to thank every single one of my friends who has helped me get to this point, be it in getting hardware or software, or teaching me mixing tips, or giving me recommendations for certain types of configurations, etc., etc. (you know who you are). Some of them may perhaps never read this.

 

This post is for all of you musicians who are starting out, or who have been doing your craft for a long time but feel you have been stagnating in some way, shape or form.

A lot of us don't start out with a full array of gear. Even with an old, dilapidated computer, you can do great things. Still, there may be times where you feel small and/or intimidated, or even wondering how you may get from point A to point B in your musical journey. But trust in your friends, and trust in God -- in the right time, and with the help of Providence and your friends, things do improve, and you can reach greater heights. There is hope for every musician, and I mean every musician.

 

* * *

 

The NGADM Round 2 piece is coming along okay, and is now at its final length. I have recording, instrument layering and mixing left to do. The structure of it is done. I am also writing an accompanying story for this piece, for those among you who would like to read something while the piece is playing. We have till this coming Monday, and I've got to chip at it where I can.

Once again, all the best to everyone taking part.

I also extend my best wishes to those who are taking part in the final round of the NG Audio Underdogs Contest (NGAUC). You have done well to come this far, and I look forward to listening and judging when it is time for me to do so.


Comments

Only those who really want to get what they want will get what they want.
Those who don't really want to get what they want won't get what they want.

Sometimes it may be in black and white, the disposition of someone who either wants to use his talents well, or otherwise.

I remember being constrained by lack of equipment to the point that it felt hopeless for me to go on, and I don't doubt there are others feeling similarly. Some are constrained by their musical ability, funds, voice, confidence, overconfidence, attitude, or sometimes just overall bad circumstances. I hope and pray they'll plough on -- though that decision is left to them.

At some point I feel I ought to share with you the full account of my musical journey. I shared it with only two people thus far; I am not in a position to let anyone and everyone read it, but I'll willingly share it with my friends and a select few others. I'm still trying to heal.

Wow, that was really inspiring Troisnyx! :D I'm glad to hear you've come so far! Also, thanks for wishing the NGAUC participants well. We need the advertisement. ;P Haha...

This is only a step in the journey, I can tell you that much. : )

As for the NGAUC, I did appreciate my judging runs very much that I felt I ought to have said something about it.

Seeing thinks in black in white really helps me get motivated and continue to move on, even if the rules that I'm making myself believe in are utterly false and are viewed by others like I'm insane.
If you put things realistically, then there is a lot of uncertainty, a lot of random occasions which affect our lives, most of them do not depend on our will. What is there to believe in? Am I just going to let things happen on their own and wait? No. I'm not that kind of person.

I do understand you've come a long way and at times you were hopeless. I guess you have noticeable musical talent, which your friends and the world around you decided to support at times of your will due to good will. Even if it's not like that, that's how it looks like to me.

It certainly looks like that to me. Uncertainty came about because of a number of questions I had in my mind (don't all of us do the same?).

Not all stories have a happy ending. Things have only been going downhill for me. I had to quit college, I have become unable to work jobs that I previously could handle, I am frequently depressed for no reason and without energy or motivation, it is difficult to sleep- where am I to draw creative energy from? Will my story have a happy ending? I hope so. But if my life only continues down into ruin... that is not preferable, but it is fine.

Not that I'll accept "defeat". I keep fighting. Which only makes it more painful. But I'm not really the "giving up" sort of person.

Sorry to be depressing, but I just felt like your post was unrealistically optimistic as if all people have a chance for "success". Some people are born totally disabled and helplessly live their entire lives like that.

IDK.

That's the whole purpose of fighting. If there's no optimism, however realiatic or not, I find that there'd be nothing to fight for. Like you, I, too, am often depressed -- but my optimism comes from the deep hope that these bad moments, too, shall pass.

For example, I went through suicidal stage some six years ago after my mother died. Why I did, sometimes, is beyond me, because I didn't receive the best treatment from her -- but now, I am coming to grips with the fact that life is worth living and fighting for.

The reason I hold on to that optimism is because I believe, even when there's little reason to. Heck, even disabled people may sometimes hold on to that, even when we able-bodied people can't see why they do. Out there are people who love us and believe in us. Out there, and in our hearts, is the One who loves us. As long as this is the case, there is always reason to hold on to hope, however faint or strong it may seem.

Maybe you are right. Maybe you are right. Thank you. Let's keep fighting.

I need to remind myself of this too. Let us keep fighting. It has never been said it'd be easy, but I wholeheartedly trust it'll be worth it.