...and since I am not in the right frame of mind to muster any music, you probably may have seen me churn out quite a few pieces this month. Depression and fear for my life and liberty have brought out a lot of these pieces -- I found drawing quite therapeutic, and at least it could help me get some practice, I felt.
But this has to stop. One side effect of this is that it gets difficult for me to breathe.
The room in which I'm typing this stinks of marker fumes. Seán, whose breathing isn't great, informs me first about how bad the air in the room has become. Then, a little while later, I feel the effects. My head aches and my chest is tight, but I'm a stubborn sod -- I just can't stop until it gets too unbearable, or if I feel I've done enough. I tend to bend over when I'm drawing, too, and that causes my entire body to ache.
I have one last drawing to post, and that'll probably be posted online in the next few days. After that, I'm taking a break from drawing altogether... for a while.
This last drawing I've got going (for now, of course) is very special to me, given what I'm going through. It's very special to anyone who stands for the freedom of speech, and the freedom to walk the streets without an inane fear of saying the wrong thing. I look forward to finishing it, and I hope you all may anticipate it as much as I do.
I also am aware that talking about my current status is going to make me lose friends, rather than gain any. Frankly, I couldn't care less. I'm sick and tired of hiding my fears over my life and liberty, even though I know the vast majority of people probably aren't going to lift a finger to help. I am sick and tired.
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I'm not sure I understand your situation entirely, but hang in there!
If drawing with markers is a problem, then why not switch to colored pencils or crayons (crayons always make me feel like a kid when I use them, haha ^^)? Your drawings are great, but if your health is at risk, you should definitely take a break. Never feel obligated to do things that you find enjoyable either, as that will make those things feel like work and will no longer be fun.
Oh, and if your friends leave you if you just talk about yourself, then maybe they weren't really friends in the first place :(
Cheers, LN. *HUG*
As for the drawing, I..... couldn't keep my promise. I wound up drawing a birthday card for someone, and did not follow my own advice. Shame on me. T_T
sending endless love from phx az!!! <888
no fear, no pain, no death <8 Stay strong, u will be ok