Entry #269

New track: Re:Reveris ~ Vocal Ver.

2017-09-22 16:48:40 by Troisnyx

Clicking on the artwork below takes you straight to the track on Newgrounds. I hope you all enjoy it!

 

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As you may be aware, I do not normally put up a new post about a track of mine, let alone a frontpage post about a vocal track of mine, but this is one I hold especially close to my heart. This is as much as an outpouring of my heart as Mio/Homura was.

I sang this when I was sick, and going through a lot of mental distress. However, this piece is six years old; I composed the original instrumental back in 2011. The artwork above is that of Project Chaplaincy, a game I hope to make real. That, incidentally, also dates back to 2011.

 


 

Where was I during that year, both physically and in my state of mind?

Physically, I was in Hertfordshire, two months into my final year of my undergraduate law degree. I had met @Merlyne for the first time not long before, and we came up with Project Chaplaincy, or the idea of it, together, after I saw the artistic brilliance that was Okami. When doing the artwork for this I was in the university library, using their computers, going on DeviantArt and using their in-built Muro program to draw. I composed both at home and in the university library, and by that time I had already been gifted the Signature Bundle of FL 9, which later became FL 10 and then FL 11. We both dared to dream. He wrote, I drew and made music, and we needed a programmer, which, to this day, I still do not have yet -- but, I am waiting for someone on the programming front. Waiting, because there are several things he needs to do first, and in the meantime, I am working towards that high bar of musical and artistic quality I hope to achieve. I don't know if I ever will.

Mentally, I was still wrestling with my identity then. I was wrestling with a lot of harassment that my father, my paternal cousin and my extended family heaped upon me. I was struggling to come to terms with some of the things I'd been through. But, most crucially, I'd only been in Britain a year and a bit then, and much like someone experiencing freedom after having been in shackles for a very long time, I could not find the words to many of the things I needed to express. If ever I told people that I was a bad speaker, this was why. All the abuse I'd spoken of in previous newsposts of mine was still there at the back of my mind, but I'd not yet unearthed it the way I have now. If anything, it manifested in a zeal that I could not yet explain.

I have come a long way since then, and so has Re:Reveris. It is a vulnerability talking about spirituality and religion, a vulnerability that I try to sidestep by singing about it. Prayer has been cathartic as it has been fulfilling; sometimes I find myself surrounded with light and love, and sometimes, I cry bitter tears asking why things are the way they are. The past six years have seen me becoming more acutely aware of my vulnerabilities, and the past year alone has seen me becoming more able to put words to the things that I'd previously struggled to express.


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