Troisnyx's audio Reviews on Newgrounds

[Angels In The Sky]

I agree with many others in that the intro was quite long. That synth could've started muted, and then went on progressively brighter and brighter until 1:15 when everything started kicking in. Because, were it not for the drums, there wouldn't be too much of a dynamics change.

The synth around 1:40 sounds beautiful and true to the title -- very angelic.

There was a sudden change of mood around 1:59? There was a gradual progression back around 2:22... and then the drop after that was alright.

I like the sense of buildup you have around 2:40 onwards. Everything is introduced gradually, and there's a sense of something greater coming on.

3:40 onwards was my favourite part of the song. This could've been made as a theme for this piece in and of itself.

The fact that this piece is called "Angels in the Sky" kinda hints at the fact that this piece is meant to have an ethereal quality to it. Yes, it does in some places, but there are places where there's a sudden change of mood with those sawtooth synths. And it.... doesn't fit. Throughout the piece, I swear, I was THIRSTING for a warm pad somewhere to balance out the basses, drums and the highs. There were very few mid-range sounds that gave a sense of angelic warmth. Right now, it sounds like something dirty and gritty, rather than something angelic.

Great effort, just try and see what can be added to complement the mood of the piece.

3.5/5.

idfpower responds:

First of all, thanks for the very detailed and to the point review :)

Now, a little explanation about the song's title... this one is part of an album that was built upon a main theme: aliens. So the "angels in the sky" - although hinting a bit at the more ethereal nature of the song, is in fact reffering to extraterrestrials. Hence the "unexpected" harsh sounds used in the song. And there's a reason for the longer intro, because its role is to calm down a bit the album's pace. I can see though why taking it out of context may draw such observations :)

Thanks again for the suggestions & all the best :)

[Short Suspense Piano Orch]

Right off the bat, the piano in the beginning is sparkly and beautiful, and then when the specato strings kick in, it gives an air of creepiness.

The song reminds me of something I would hear in Jak II or even Jak III, and I'm talking in terms of composition style, chords... Very reminiscent of Haven City, dictatorship and war.

1:39 could've used a ground bass, something to up the tension a LOT MORE -- leaving the piano by itself gave a sense of awkwardness rather than fear.

Then when the electronic sounds kicked in and the strings came back in, it was back to that feel from Jak II and Jak III.

And how is there no ending? You faded out? This piece could be expanded to a good length, and given an ending that could scare the daylights out of anyone...

One thing I do suggest is that you don't describe what this piece evokes.... instead, try to describe the premise behind the piece. A backstory, in other words. What could be a good backstory for this? People relate to backstories very well. As soon as they read them, they can relate to the piece. Listeners want to relate to the piece... so I highly suggest you write something that relates to them.

TL;DR: Outstanding compositional style, outstanding chords. There are some issues with the instrumentation and the piece in the middle and ending. Still doesn't take away from the tension, fear and grandeur evoked by the beginning and the last section. Keep up the good work, knock out the kinks -- and let me assure you, you'll have a piece fit for a dictator's grand entrance.

Also, if you haven't listened to the opening music in the film 'The Scarlet and the Black', I suggest you do listen to it.

4/5.

[.Single Step.]

Right off the bat, I must say that this piece has a good sense of chords and melody. You've at least nailed these two foundations.

But this is where it all ends, unfortunately. I have a number of issues with this piece.

1) You uploaded this piece as a loop, when it sounded like either a finished piece or a work in progress. There was no seamless loop. And for 1'18", it's really, really short and could stand for a LOT MORE expansion.

2) The piano could do with some extra reverb. It needs body, especially for those sections where the piano comes in on its own.

3) The strings sound ethereal, but they sound more like backing to a more pulsing buildup. There's very slow attack, which really doesn't help the piece's atmosphere too much.

4) And finally, my BIGGEST point of contention: BUILDUP. All the points I have mentioned just now have led to this. This song is about a single step, a new beginning. A single step should lead to more, shouldn't it? That piano did suggest a single step, but there wasn't much buildup to suggest running, leaping steps from that point onwards, which is what every human heart yearns for.

Pulsing specato strings (and I mean all orchestral strings) can start to kick in when you're illustrating the next step. And then, full orchestra. But more importantly, a climax and a proper ending. This ending sounded like, "kthxbai". Not a very good first step now is it? You could keep the solo piano in the ending once the climax is over, to resolve the piece, but you don't want to leave the music hanging like you did here.

Pieces like these are meant to uplift listeners, and I think you and I know that too well. And in terms of uplifting, this piece could've done *so much more*, it really hurts.

2/5.

gridcrawler responds:

Constructive criticisms like this are extremely rare, at least for me. Thank you for taking your times to write them. All the things you said are right and I have no objection, at all.

Took note, this will be my priority of fixing this month. Thanks again.

[Crossing Field]

Alright, time to break this into sections.

On metrics: While yours were precise (coming out from FL), Puppet's vocals did go off timing quite a bit.

There's a little bit of dynamic change, Puppet's voice did not change dynamics and it kinda didn't sound expressive (especially in the breakdown section.) A bit more instrument layering/loudness around 0:50 would've been appreciated -- right now, it sounds almost like the beginning, and you want to distinguish 0:50 from the beginning because it sounds more like a chorus.

And on the subject of choruses -- did you just use a fragment of the song, or was this the entire song? If it was a fragment, the entire song would've been very much appreciated here, because right now, it's an A-B-C progression, which makes it sound like a stream of consciousness song or novel -- and I really don't buy into stream of consciousness very much.

Mixing's alright; I hear everything quite well. Good job especially with the vocal effects and the piano towards the end. A bit more sustain on the piano in the breakdown would've made it sound a lot nicer.

3/5.

SkillSkillFiretruck responds:

Thanks,

yes it is of the form A-B-C , I planned for it to by a nice epic mini project/demo-reel/show-case kinda thing. It is a 'fragment' of the original song.

Thanks a lot, I got a lot of feed back since it released and I am starting to notice the vocal problems now. :) I will create changes and upload a new version

edit- I'm just going to look back on this after a few weeks or months, i need big break from it.

[WIP Showreel of 2012/13]

My thoughts on each:

Confrontation 0:00 - 0:27
This sounds like the intro to a memorable battle theme -- the broken chords on the strings make way for something that'll stick in people's minds. I say this especially because this is rarely heard in cinematic pieces. All we need now is a good main melody and solid chord progressions and we'll have a winner!

Forest Lake 0:28 - 1:09
Beautiful. Very calm, and might I also add, nice choice of instrumentation. This piece reminds me of the Haven Forest themes from Jak II and Jak 3.

Good Morning 1:10 - 1:24
Is this meant to be the middle section of the song? For the title, the music seems rather..... out of place, probably because it's a fragment and it ends abruptly. That being said: I wouldn't want such an abrupt start to my morning, unless there's special cause for celebration... and this really doesn't sound like something from a regular morning.

Jazz Beat 1:24 - 1:32
If this were to continue in the speed that it's in, I'd imagine it towards the middle of a piece, once enough buildup has been brought in.

Orchestral Practice 1:32 - 2:05
The drums were the hook for me, and they made this piece sound very majestic. The broken chords beginning this fragment were not the most gripping; in fact, they sounded like a lot of other cinematic pieces... overused device.

Beyond the Stars 2:05 - 2:46
Again, the drums are the hook for me. That chord progression used here is rather.... typical.

I've noticed one thing: EVERY SINGLE PIECE here has almost the same tempo, or a multiple of the same tempo. I have a drummer's ear, and I'm able to point this out -- why is this so?

I can't say very much more from what you've shared with us, but do build up on what's good and knock out those kinks, because there is so much good that can be brought out here.

3.5/5.

Grandvision responds:

Thanks for the criticism. I'll have a look into. The reason most of these are the same tempo is because I ignore the BPM slider most of the time when composing a new piece, since I do not have a visual image to cater to, or a specified project tempo rule. I like to mess around with tempo in the piano roll.

[Scary Monsters & Nice S's]

Right off the bat: you've got very soulful playing, and I can overlook the slips because you're expressing yourself very, very well.

Just like one of my solo instrumental pieces, you have a VI - VII - i progression which you use regularly, but you vary that with melodies so well. 1:52 onwards is my favourite section... sparkly bright notes, and I get the picture that someone is afraid, but wants to see the beauty outside.

My only complaint is: Why the abrupt ending? Considering you borrowed a lot of elements from themes from previous seconds, you could do something similar for the ending. Beyond this point, consider me nitpicking -- I'd have loved to also hear some solid left-hand playing. Now I know it's simple to resort to playing in octaves (I sometimes have fallen into this tendency), but some broken chords on the left hand would've added more body to this piece.

4.5/5 (5 in practice).

SkillSkillFiretruck responds:

Solid left hand playing would of been great. Thank you for all your words. I still practice this song now and than, I have changed the ending much. you are right. I'll keep it all in mind.

[Vox of Luna]

Right off the bat, you are making the same error as I did when I started making music digitally: there is *no volume automation*. There's no difference between soft-and-loud, which could be exploited in pieces like these to enhance the emotions of it a lot more.

I notice that you're relying on counterpoint quite a lot in the beginning all the way to 1:37, where a second violin track(?) kicks in, and then it's back to counterpoint, with some slight variation. Though the tone of the piece is meant to be sombre, the sombre feel of the piece can still be enhanced with a bit more chord variation, a supplementary melodic theme... (I tend to be banging on about chord variation and supplementary melodic themes a lot these days, but that is where I gash the most marks, unfortunately.)

The drums don't suggest Classical, they suggest Ambient. The entire feel of the piece is more Ambient than Classical... unless the drums themselves could be modified to resemble what you would expect to hear coming from an orchestra.

Also, what's with the abrupt ending? If this piece was meant to loop seamlessly, I guess I get it.... but because of the complete lack of dynamics, there seemed to be no buildup, no climax, and no resolution... Even Ambient pieces have a change of buildup somewhere in the loop to heighten or lower the tension, and to keep people hooked on the song. Because in songs, people naturally expect the music, the story or the setting to *unfold*.

I like the concept of this piece, the chords used here. With the right amount of dynamics, with the right amount of buildup and supplementary melodic themes, with the right amount of reverb and panning, this could sound beautiful. I see the potential in this piece... and I can hear the performance-ready version in my head now, as I write this. That the piece was uploaded as is --- it is severly wanting in all those aspects I mentioned earlier.

2/5.

Psilenth responds:

Honestly the best feed back I gotten. I plan a re-release based on your review.

[Shake Well]

A lot of things stand out here as excellent: the chord work, the sense of melody (and the occasional sustain), the introduction of various themes (and also the change of feel within the piece). There's nothing I can criticise about this piece that would warrant me docking off a star.

Have you ever considered making this a seamless loop? This is something I would love to hear over and over again as a level theme.

5/5.

frootza responds:

Thanks again for the review Trois,

I'm happy that you enjoyed it. I could make it into a seamless loop, I didn't consider it though since originally I composed this for the 8-bit audio contest. I wish someone would use this as a level theme! Maybe one day!

Frootza

[Tournon]

Right off the bat, the blending of those instruments reminds me of one of the Haven Forest themes from the Jak & Daxter series, which is a good sign!

The drums stand out to me the most, as I'm able to pick out rhythm the easiest. As for the strings: they provide a really good atmosphere but I can't seem to make out the chords sometimes. I hear a lot of VI (Db) and i (F minor) but beyond that... I'd suggest clearly defining the chords and the melody line.

3.5/5.

frootza responds:

Thanks for the review Trois,

Being the first orchestral piece I've submitted to newgrounds, and the second I've written, I appreciate that you went easy on me. Hopped around 1 3 4 and 6 in this one, but the inversions might make it difficult to latch on to the chord changes.

When I upgrade to some better VSTs, and revisit this, I wouldn't turn down your suggestions!

Frootza

[Mr Brightside/Somebody]

I can see the potential in this -- all the parts were in tune, by-and-large. The section around 1:30 was my favourite. <3

My complaints with this are:
1) Heavy reverb makes the section between 0:47 really muddled up, but it also messes all the other vocals. Please consider making it cleaner, because this is the kind of song where you need clean vocals -- you want to be able to hear every part coming out crisp to fully enjoy it.
2) What's with the abrupt ending?

Build up on the other things -- it's good! -- and knock out the kinks, and you should be on your way.

4/5.

raggd46 responds:

Rerecorded and hopefully clearer!