Troisnyx's audio Reviews on Newgrounds

[Ballad of the Windfish]

As someone who loves the Ballad of the Wind Fish and has done a cover, let me leave my two cents.

Right off the bat: you have a very Enya-ish vocal quality, which I really enjoy. Your harmonies are very well thought out, and were it not for the artist name, I could've sworn that this was actually SUNG by Enya. Kudos to you for your very strong vocals and harmonies. <3

Also, I am glad that you, too, have done this song from the point of the Wind Fish. I have too. This is, admittedly, something that not many people who cover this song do -- they usually do it from Marin's point of view. The song in and of itself sounds like a calling to Link, deep within his heart.

The music is sparse and brings out the vocals, which are heavily reverberated. I've no complaints about that; I think it sounds beautiful.

And now, some nitpicking. And this is mainly to do with the pronunciation of the vocals, but it also has something to do with the lyrics. Please note that I am a stickler for good lyrics, so I will be as thorough about it as possible.

Latin, especially ecclesial (church) Latin, is pronounced quite like Japanese as far as vocals go. A is always 'ah', e is always 'eh', i is always 'ee', o is always 'oh' and u is always 'oooh'. Now consonants are varied, admittedly, depending on whether you're singing in classic or ecclesial Latin. I have no worries; I sing in ecclesial Latin all the time!

And considering I *understand* and *sing in* Latin -- I am a cantor at Sunday Masses -- I find the use of Latin here is very, very gratuitious. >_> Please at least make the Latin words MEAN something cohesive..... Even if the grammatical structure winds up not being the best (which I don't expect anyone to do, because I'm finding trouble myself), at least make the entire passage be one cohesive story, like you would do in English.

Now for the English lyrics: From "In a dream" to "Have no fear", it sounds like a calling within Link's heart, but my point of contention is, shouldn't it have more to it than just a calling? Link goes through eight dungeons, meets many people (especially Marin), and we're just keeping it as a calling? It does make me wonder.

The repeated "Set me free" at the end is very well-placed. Singing this from the point of view of the Wind Fish, (s)he is thirsting to be freed at last, and that could sound like a repeated plea. Very good Emotional Fuel.

TL;DR: Outstanding vocals and harmonies. Sparse music makes for vocals to be fleshed out more. Lyrics could be a point of review, especially the Latin section.

Keep singing!

4/5.

VGSongbird responds:

I won't deny my Latin can leave a lot to be desired. I haven't studied it professionally; my experience comes from the decade I spent in choir. And I took what I could from there. So I apologize if it came out sounding weird.

As for the English lyrics, I wouldn't change anything. I was trying to make a cohesive piece--and I still think I did. Re-reading it, nothing sounds out of place to me. The "someone's calling" wasn't referring to a "calling" like as in a quest or journey. It was more about the subtle calls from the Wind Fish--like eerie echos and whispers only Link could hear. "Wake me, symphony, set me free" is the whisper, or the "calling". This is not from the Wind Fish's perspective. This is a perspective of a narrator telling the story. There was a dream of a sea, where a hero could hear the whispers "wake me, set me free" in his mind. And though evil surrounded him, he had the courage to go and fulfill his destiny.

I do appreciate that you took the time to listen and fully review this. ^_^ It helps me to look back and see where I could've been better. And I really appreciate the compliments about the vocals and arrangement of the background music. But I stand by my original lyrics--at least the one's in English.

[Road to Everywhere]

The mixing, I haven't got complaints with, except that the snare is a bit dry and lacks a little depth. The tempo changes are very, VERY well done in this piece.

The intro was what gave me complaints, because of the lack of dynamics in the piano and other things, but when the piece reached 1:21..... it sounded quite nice. And it kept going.... it was a joy to listen to after 1:21. Those synths blipping at the back behind solid chord framework really reminds me of something that comes off Epic Battle Fantasy.

The only thing I would suggest with this is make that intro softer, to justify buildup to this piece. Also, don't make the speed changes halfway through sections unless you are making a definitive end or change in section, which will be shown by change in buildup or resolution.

There is a breakdown around 3:21, and that sounds like a good tension-breaker before the piece picks up what it originally had.

I could imagine myself walking in space, riding on shooting stars, hopping from star to star, while around me I see so many beautiful things around me.

This is a beautiful piece -- knock the kinks out, and you've got a winner!

4/5.

Dylnmatrix responds:

Thanks for the review!

About the snare, how would you recommend making it better? Better use of reverb or EQing? I'm still a noob when it comes to mixing drums.

The intro...was something I was confused about when I was making it. It wasn't exactly an intro yet my ears said it was and that it worked. I went with what my ears that. After 1:21, that's when I go into my niche in music, and just let the composition take control.

The speed changes where tricky, as I know that when it comes to electronic music, people generally dislike it and don't use it much, so I didn't have much to base off of. I'm great at building tempos and slowing them at the outros, but when it comes to slowing it down in the middle, that's where it's just experimentation and trial/error. I'll keep that tip in mind if I ever try tempo changes again.

Thanks again, Troisnyx! I really appreciate the review!

[Northwing Fury II]

Right off the bat, I wanna apologise for not reviewing sooner. I'm not doing well physically -- aching body, cold...

It's heavy on the right with the drum solos, the way I'm listening to it -- perhaps it needs a bit of time demarcation. The channels for the drums sound separated in my ears, rather than integrated on both sides of the speakers.

The bass was quite busy, and busy bass + busy drums = really busy bottom half, which you do want to try avoid. Part of the enjoyment of the piece comes from listening to both and appreciating both. You've got a solid bassline going, and a chaotic drum solo, which can be exploited for great effect, but putting those together makes the bottom half a bit messy.

The guitar line was quite good.

What about a calmer section to this song, if at all? Some sort of breakdown which doesn't involve the chaos? Like some sort of respite before returning to the original tension of the piece? Just a suggestion.

The ending could do with a bit more warmth -- warm pads for instance? The guitar melody and bass and drums make this piece top-heavy, bottom-heavy, but with not much at the mids. Please, do consider that. Building up of warmth in the piece could also mean buildup for this piece in general.

As is, you've got foundations -- they just need a little push in the right direction. : )

3/5.

Blacklawn responds:

Thank you, I'll keep all those things in mind when I try to improve it.

[Labyrinth of Logic]

You have outstanding chord work. When the drums kick in, this sounds like one of the gummi ship themes from Kingdom Hearts II -- specifically Cloudchasers. The rhythm is solid, and so are those high piano notes. The chords stood out the most to me. <3

What would likely work is if you introduced a counter-melody somewhere in the piece. A warm pad perhaps? Like the previous piece I reviewed, this one doesn't have too much in the way of mids, and some more would be appreciated.

The piano works well as a bass line around 1:08, but not all the time. 1:08 is a sort of breakdown, and the piano as a bass line works beautifully there. It did give off a bit of a Kirby's Epic Yarn feel. But because there are not enough mids and there aren't enough of the lowest frequencies, an electric bass perhaps in the other sections? Also, like the reviewer below me has pointed out, the kick is quite sharp, but also a bit too high.

1:45 REALLY SOUNDS like something Yoko Shimomura would do, with the synth kicking in. When I first heard it I was thinking it was a violin... then I listened carefully. Heheh! ^_^

This piece was quite well mixed, and I don't think I notice any problems with regards to mixing except for the missing frequencies I mentioned earlier.

I enjoyed this piece. All the best for the ADM auditions!

4/5.

Blacklawn responds:

Thank you. It's good to know I'm improving. I'll see what I can do about the mids later, and perhaps add a bass without interfering with the piano.

[The March Home]

There's something I notice about this piece which is similar to the last one: heavy use of counterpoint. The intro was different from the main body in terms of chords, but within the body, there's a lot of chord repetition going on. You do vary it around 2:00, which is great, but then there's another sequence of chords repeating... You've got an otherwise strong musicality going on, the sounds in the song are balanced out.

Things I suggest:

1) I notice that this has a bit of an A-B-C structure, given that the intro, 0:30 and 2:00 are different from each other. C could've just as well been another B. Taking the intro out, we would really have an A-A structure. Try creating a secondary theme, one that softens the volume a little, while still keeping the military feel. So for instance, keep the drums there, play them lightly instead, give more focus to an instrument which would otherwise be backing melody. Then when you come back to A, your final section, you can bring back your original melody, but with greater ferocity.

Now the piece we can draw inspiration from, for this, isn't a military one per se, but has a very strong sense of structure and dynamics. Look up "Kingdom Hearts II Final Mix Secret Ending" on YouTube and listen to the music for the cinematic in question. There's a lot to be drawn from there. Frankly, that same piece can be done with drum flourishes and a military feel as much as it was done here, but listen for the general musicality. That's what makes a piece memorable.

2) A lot of the notes don't have volume changes between them. Trust me, I can hear it, because in my earlier pieces (especially those from 2011), I made THE EXACT SAME MISTAKE. Now I know it's cumbersome to have to mouse-click the bars at the bottom of the piano roll for volume control, but even just holding your mouse down and passing through them would work. You want those notes to have the feel of someone actually *physically playing* the instrument, not a MIDI-ish feel. Think about touch-sensitive keys on electronic keyboards for instance.

The idea behind this is that when you listen to an instrument being physically played, you'd expect the volume to go up and down with some notes. As far as volume is concerned, playing an instrument is like speech. There are some syllables (or in this case, some notes) that we would emphasise, and some that we would allow to trail off. With that idea in mind, try adjusting the individual note volumes in the piano roll for this piece -- and just see how much of a change this will make!

3) Then comes the issue of reverb and mixing in general, but I will handle that in a PM or in a later episode. Once you've nailed these earlier things, we'll move on to reverb.

This was certainly a great effort, but much more can be done. Still: having heard just how much this piece can bring, and how good the music here already is, I believe in you.

3.5/5. Voted 4.

Bardash responds:

Thank you kindly for your brilliant review. Fruity loops is a new tool to me and I know I have a lot to learn with using the program to its fullest potential. Basically all I did to 'mix' the piece was to make sure all of the parts blended well and sounded balanced on multiple audio setups. (What can I say? I am a composer with no experience in mixing or mastering!) The introduction was composed over twelve years ago and I never got around to knowing what to do with the song until about two months ago! I am looking forward to learning much more as time progresses. Thank you again.

[Dance in the Emerald Fore]

This sounds like a round (in terms of song structure). The drums in this piece call out to me, they really call me to dance. That's one thing about me, I pick out rhythm first, then everything else. This one fits an elven dance, or even a medieval setting.

While I really enjoy this version already and think it stands good on its own, I would like to hear a fully instrumentated version of this -- so basses, mids (celli etc?). You've got the highs and you've got the percussions -- adding the other instruments might make this a theme for something else, but it would be nice to see what you could add in terms of chords. Something to explore, I guess.

5/5, Favourited. And I am watching you.

Bardash responds:

Thank you. I am honored for your visit. I almost forgot I still had this song up here. Now that I have a better music studio to work in, I might just revisit this song. I used print music to write this song and it was inspired by an entry entitled 'the Wandering Woods' on the imaginary country website, Umbagollah. I have a few other songs that I am preparing to release.

[Ascension]

The opening melody was beautiful and ethereal. With the piano and drums coming in, I could sense a Touhou feel. However, the piano, being quite watery, needs a solid bass line to complement it. (It only comes at around 1:10, and might I say, it's well done!)

I like your chords at around 1:42, and the modulation around 1:50!! :D You really switched things up before coming back to the main theme. And you brought that modulation back again at around 2:24.

What would be appreciated:
1) Some sparkly highs. Either piano notes or electronic synths. Bring them as counter-melodies, or as part of the ambience.

2) Fully instrumented sections, with that guitar-thing, the piano, the synths, drums etc. 3:36 comes very close, but a little bit more body needs to be attached to what sounds like bare bones. And these fully instrumented sections need to last longer! Considering this gave me a Touhou vibe, even the soundtrack of Touhou 8 (Imperishable Night) would be good enough inspiration.

3) In the buildup section, I'd have appreciated a piano section (with the synths in the background) that started soft, and then built up... you had that sort of feel that says, "I'M FEELING AWESOME!" but at the same time, you're not losing track of the fact that it's meant for a sci-fi story.

Right now, you have a lot of things nailed: chords, melody, dynamics in some cases, instrumentation here and there (instrumentation is really hit-and-miss). Knock out those kinks, and you will have a winner. I assure you.

3.5/5.

Blacklawn responds:

I'll probably remake this and most of my old songs, thanks.

[Simple Days]

Right off the bat, I love the percussions and how they've been panned. But this suggests the World genre, rather than Classical. Adding extra instrumentation might land it in the Jazz category. I won't dock marks off for that, but please consider.

The piano at the end was really well done; it sounded naturally played.

I STILL think, like all the other reviewers, THAT THIS SONG NEEDS MORE INSTRUMENTATION! Yes, the song is titled 'Simple Days' but there are lots of instrument combinations that can still sound simple. Bass and guitar thrown in perhaps? This piece has a lot of beats and a lot of sparkly high notes, but that means the lows and mids are MISSING. Unless you're intending this to be a raw drum-and-voice piece or ethnic piece, which it isn't... instrument buildup is massively needed here.

I'm sure you've heard that even heavier instrument combinations of this can sound quite simple, and smaller instrument combinations than this could sound quite difficult to play. With more instrumentation this would give off a Final Fantasy X-2 vibe (have you heard the soundtrack?). Please, strongly consider adding maybe a simple bassline and a simple guitar riff to suit the melody, if nothing else.

3/5.

Blacklawn responds:

Thanks, I'm making a new version with more instrumentation. I've played X-2 before, I guess it might have reminded you of the Besaid theme or the Calm Lands theme, am I right? (too bad this thing doesn't let you respond to responses)

[Follow Me]

For starters, the synth melody is overly repetitive, going on for 49 seconds >_< Plus the bassline has been repeating its shift between B and A# for over a minute. Listening to the intro made me wonder whether this was experimental, or something a person in GCSE would do if he had a DAW and started making music for his class project... it really gave off an uneasy vibe with all those repetitions. What *would* be catchy is if you had a song with a singable melody, a memorable melody, but certainly not one that repeated for that long a period of time. Honestly, even the piece of background music, 'VS Kracko' from Kirby's Epic Yarn, didn't come to THAT amount of repetition even though it was a very short loop!

1:00 has those beautiful, watery synths that come in and create a beautiful ambience within the piece. That part is quite alright to listen to -- I really like what you've done with those watery synths. Might I say, it's my favourite. I notice it's the part you really enjoy as well.

1:43 has a variation in the bass AT LAST! Some parts sound like they're trying to create a bridge section to link up to another. I got disappointed at the very end because there could've been a sort of breakdown before bringing the general tension of the piece back to normal (for lack of a better word) -- variation in a piece does suggest buildup, and it was kinda sad because the piece just ended like that.

TL;DR: There is one hit and a lot of misses, from what I've heard. I do understand that in experimental music, you play with all of its forms, whether it be chords or melodies. But that doesn't mean we throw away our understanding of general tonality. Like that intro, for instance, which gashed it a lot. If anything, it should complement our understanding of general tonality.

What do you want your experimental song to evoke? What do you want it to BE, either to yourself or to the listener? Ask yourself these questions, and these might provide you a bit of guidance on how to proceed.

2.5/5.

MockOff responds:

Hmm, I thought the synth melody was nice and a bit catchy and I added a tad variety to the background with it to try to make it not overly repetitive. The bass line has like 7 different notes (if counting octaves) its hitting in the first part of the song so I'm not sure what you're saying about it just shifting between B and A#...
Thanks for the compliment about those watery synths, but that is actually my guitar playing, not a synthesizer. I'm not sure I completely agree with what you were saying, but I thank you for taking the time to review my song as such.

[Steampunk Irish Pub]

As a Celtic music afficionado, I quite like this little piece of music, and would like to hear an extended version, complete with a counter-melody.... Standard Irish pub fare would involve 1) tuneset - bodhran solo - tuneset, or 2) a simple Irish jig. I don't doubt you've got the instrumentation for those, so whichever way you make the extended version, I will be looking forward to that. As you can tell, my only pickle is that it is short. I do understand that it's meant as ambience, but it ultimately does depend on how big the game is etc.

I can forgive the percussions (there not being a bodhran would otherwise be a travesty!), because it is meant to be steampunk after all.

Length aside, I truly enjoyed this. One, this is something for me to beat the bodhran to, and two, I love the melody and the chords. Sounds contemporary Irish, and I wouldn't have it any other way. <3

4.5/5, favourited.

conorstrejcek responds:

Thank you for taking the time to listen to the piece!

I'm not very familiar with traditional Celtic forms. Do you think you could possibly shoot me a short PM with the characteristics of a jig vs. a ternary tunset/solo/tuneset? I couldn't really find much info on them just searching around. Also, countermelody-wise, what would you suggest for the instrumentation? Right now I have a bagpipe drone for the accompanying harmonies, and acoustic guitar/violin for primarily melodic sections.

It's great to hear positive feedback from someone who is an expert in the field!