For the last ten years, it's been me putting in the graft and not getting much out of it. I was determined never to draw again, and @Sabtastic approached me and spoke with me. She, too, had felt what I'd felt of being completely let down by people and events.

I'm going to do what she's done; no contests. I will admit that not drawing has helped me to concentrate more on the music, but every so often, the Sharpies beckon to me. If I put up anything from here on out -- and that's a big IF -- it's only for me. I have been learning fast for someone who started out here on NG as not knowing proportions, depth, and most art theory apart from colour theory, and I intend for that to continue, if at a reduced pace right about now due to the intensifying music work.

As someone who had suffered quite badly as a result of my parents picking apart and tearing up my music, and mocking my art (both on a frequent basis), I don't often know the best way of working through and around the pain. But I don't want my art, or my music for that matter, to get the usual art college snobbery shown at it. I'm not that kind of person.

Any recognition from here on out is going to be classed as a bonus to work that I feel compelled to do. Work that may not bring reward, but cannot be stopped due to the pull it has on me from time to time. The act of sharing anything with others is bound to bring pain, as it has with my childhood and adolescence, but I cannot create art for the sake of myself alone. It is work that may not bring reward, but I feel ought to be shared anyway.

----

Tagging for attention: @RealFaction @EDM364 @Akuaitance @MchectorII @SnowTeddy @Kajenx @The-Great-One @SSJ3-Goku4567 @becausemetoo

It's not the only instrument that I managed to snag this week, but this one has been a long time coming. I finally have my own drum kit. Minus positioning and readjusting things so that they're comfortable for me to reach, here it is. The good ol' Pearl Forum.

It feels so surreal. I want to burst out in thanks to the people who made it possible, but another feeling also seizes me.

Twenty years ago -- when I was merely six years old -- I remember the first instances of me playing by ear. It wasn't on the piano, despite me being trained in it first. It was on the drum. I didn't have a kit; I didn't even have a proper drum for that matter. It was a toy drum. It sounded quite deep for what it was, and I remember just copying what I'd heard and transferring it onto that drum. I picked up that instrument, not because it was cool, or because I wanted to look awesome doing it. I picked it up because I loved its sound, its tremors and aftershocks. I would beat the drum over and over again to hear its voice, then the silence, then its voice again.

I feel a bit misty-eyed. It's so surreal. This thing has been a long time coming. I'll be setting it up in a practice area of sorts -- I believe Seán has found one for me and my friends -- and now, I don't have to beg for practice time or even just a bit of a play. I don't have to be at the mercy of people who were so protective of their equipment that they wouldn't let a struggling drummer play. It's finally here.

Tagging for interest: @EDM364 @Akuaitance @Mich @RealFaction.

The video for Mio/Homura EXTEND is being edited as we speak, and a rough cut should be ready this coming week. However, the actual video would not be finished for two or three weeks. So in the interim, I thought I'd share some thoughts on the entire process, how it's been and how it got so suddenly transformed.

Related posts:

• Original Mio/Homura
• Current Mio/Homura
• Post NGADM 2012 post where I had to grovel and beg for an experimentation which wasn't my fault
• All the emotions I suffered prior to the new release of Mio/Homura EXTEND
• Mio/Homura EXTEND Release
• Area Scouting
• Makeup Test
• Anticipatory week
• The photos from the recording of the footage of Mio/Homura

Since its release, I had the crazy idea of turning Mio/Homura EXTEND into a music video and shared it with the people of Soundskills, the people now behind said video. ^_^ I don't know why. Maybe it was a means for me to test out my aesthetic. Maybe it was time I engaged in a bigger video than just a studio one. Whatever the motivation for it was, it turned the huge negativity on Newgrounds about this piece... on its head.

If I mentioned Mio/Homura a year ago, I'd have mentioned it in hushed whispers and tears, or angry screams and tears, due to what people had done to me as a result of that piece.

Now, I think of Mio/Homura now as something very positive, a great act of bringing to birth. It is no longer my Achilles' heel. It is no longer a failure, but one of my greatest achievements yet. There, I see my aesthetic, I see my true self. I hear my true self. The entire act of recording on Thursday, I offered it up as a prayer.

When we went to the woods off Fernyhalgh to record the video on Thursday the 20th, I was not afraid of the creatures, including the bugs. I was not afraid of the nettles, I was not afraid of the soggy ground. I was one with all of it. There were Seán, myself and five friends from Soundskills, and together we formed a team of seven. I was among those people who loved me. I was with Seán, the man whom I truly love, whom I want to give my entire life to.

I did feel particularly vulnerable beating the drum and dancing on camera. These are things I truly yearn to do, but because of my passion for drums and dancing, I feel vulnerable doing it in front of others. Anyone passionate about any particular thing is bound to feel vulnerable when filmed or ogled by several pairs of eyes. But, we have to start somewhere. That vulnerability will likely decrease, but it's always going to be there. It has to be there, if I am to be well-grounded and humble in what I do. It's sobering, thinking about it.

Prep for Mio/Homura made me and my friends more willing to undertake things that we'd never done before. I mentioned the vulnerability playing and dancing on camera, especially since it was my first time doing so on a major video, but for others, there were many firsts as well. Seán made his first flower crown, and it actually turned out beautifully. Another friend of mine did facial makeup for the first time, and another had his first go at petal confetti -- the "money shot" of Mio/Homura according to the crew. And I enjoyed it too!

We spent some four hours or so recording, time which went swiftly by because we were having fun.

As a side note, I actually approached the unnamed judge who unleashed fury onto me five years ago -- I didn't expect to run into them -- and gave them the new Mio/Homura. They were touched by the harmonies, the emotions of the piece. I'd reconciled with them, and they with me!

This is the work I want to do with my music. The work of good. The work of immense positivity -- encouragement, uplifiting, reconcilliation, joy, love, daring to believe, daring to think upon heavenly things. The process behind Mio/Homura EXTEND, especially after its release, has been all of these things. I am truly touched by it all. Long may it continue, and may it spread far and wide.

Now, updates:

I have released a cinematic medieval-inspired piece, the second in the Dark Adventures series. This one is called Dragonslayer, and has been featured in the second Dark Adventures episode -- who would have thought there'd have been a second one?

I'm aware that the animation is rather rough-looking but I remember that the first Dark Adventures actually got Daily 2nd Place, a rather staggeringly good milestone for what it was. It looks almost like a moving sketch on parchment. Well, a rather rough one, but still. ^_^ So yeah, give the film a look-see, give the music a look-see, and lemme know what you think!

Calling to attention @EDM364 @Mich @RealFaction @Asandir @Akuaitance to start.

If you'd like your name put into this list to notify you of the next post, or if you'd like your name removed from the list, please let me know.

And I will include the video as a frontpage post, along with the new version of troisnyx.co.uk, when it is all ready.

For now, enjoy these piccies:

The people in the shots are friends from Soundskills, the place I participate in musically and otherwise. Together with my fiancé Seán and myself, we formed a team of seven.

I look forward to sharing the finished product with all of you, and thank you for your support. <3

Some updates:

The first, obviously, being about the Mio/Homura music video. I mentioned in previous posts that the recording date for it is set for 20 July, which is this coming Thursday. Less than a week to go! I'm so excited! Anyway...

We have just a bit of last-minute prep to do, mainly with gathering flowers, preserving them, and using their petals on the actual day. One more bit of clothing left to get as well, and this should be good. If all the people I invited to the filming of Mio/Homura turn up on Thursday, there will be a SEVEN-PERSON CREW! Seven people! I never would have believed it possible when I originally composed Mio/Homura some five years ago.

We have a dress, we have a drum and tambourine, I have the dance moves (sort-of, and all unrehearsed), we have shoes, we have leatherwork for the drum strap, we have makeup, we have a wonderful crew, and we have a wild Troisnyx.

So much of this week's energies is going to go to this project. I wonder how we're all gonna get there, and carry our cameras, flowers, props, and the like. But I suppose that'll be a question for another day...

Now let us all hope and pray and good-vibe that the weather on the 20th, and leading up to it, is ACTUALLY GOOD. Sun and wind will be ideal!

Second on the agenda is an animation by @Wondermeow, not telling you what it is. I'm scoring that. I may dedicate some time within the week to score this, if I'm not already swamped with Mio/Homura prep. If not, it'll have to be after the 20th.

I mentioned on my Twitter that I had external hard drive troubles. No, the actual hard drive itself is fine. The superspeed USB 3.0 cable connecting it went absolutely fucking kaput (thanks, Seán). But we've got a replacement (thanks, Seán ^_^). Now to see if the cable actually fucking fits. Reason why it got delayed due to hard drive troubles is that ALL my samples, bar FL defaults, come from the external hard drive.

Third on the agenda -- yes, this had to be pushed back to third -- is that Kingdom Hearts cover, that YouTube-exclusive, that I was talking about with some of you, called O City That Was Not. This has had to be pushed back for the same reasons as the animation scoring above. I cannot load the project without the external hard drive samples, which means I cannot play any physical instruments along to it either for the time being.

Lastly, and most important to all on Newgrounds, is that the NG Audio Portal 15th Anniversary Collab is under way, and is no longer accepting join requests. Scriptwriting is under way right now, and is being discussed by the respective members associated with it. I was expecting this thread to start say, on 30 July, but we really made quick work of the Logistics Thread. Thanks to all who participated in it, and I'm looking forward to working with the lot of you.

I signed up as a musician, lyricist and vocalist, and have been made Music Director for the project. Scriptwriting director @SourJovis is at his work at the moment. We all report to @Whirlguy, who led the Newgrounds 20th Anniversary Collab back in the day. The cornerstone of this entire project is the scriptwriting, so it's only after this that us musicians and lyricists can start work. I have a month, maybe more, to worry about this, so I'm glad that it means I can take a little bit of a break before this starts.

As soon as Mio/Homura, @Wondermeow's animation and O City That Was Not are all finished, I'm going to take a break from big projects. There may be little submissions in the meantime, or there may be none at all. But when the scriptwriting is finished, I'm back into work mode. Back into the swing of things.

Moderating goes on as per normal. Songs to remove, drama to regulate, users to ban. Same old, same old. I may release an Audio Mod Meepcast soon. Meep. There is a LOT to talk about.

Ooooo, what could the end result be, ooooooohh?

Three days after it was originally meant to be uploaded, after several human and technological fucking hissy fits, here is Part Two of The Making Of: Mio/Homura, below.

The video features my fiancé Seán, who is recording most of the footage, and friends Daryll, Ashley and Louise from Soundskills, where I offer my musical services on some days. It is Louise who applies most of the facepaint on me. I remember mentioning in the last post that I wondered if the makeup was a bit OTT (over the top), but that's a question for another day.

With that, I have an announcement to make. Weather permitting, we have a date set for the recording of the music video: 20 July 2017!

With it being the start of July, we have two weeks and a bit to gear up for that. There are still a few loose ends to be tied up and such. I'm going to need to rehearse my dance for the video, too. Gonna build up even more endurance as well, in the meantime. To the friends who are part of the Mio/Homura crew: let's make it work! To the rest -- hope you enjoy what you see, and I'll come back with more news after 20 July.

In the evening tomorrow, will be editing and uploading the Mio/Homura makeup test video, and giving a filming date for the actual music video which should hopefully be stuck to, weather permitting. Here, have an image, from the inside of Soundskills, taken yesterday.

The facepaint was partly applied by me, but mostly applied by a friend of mine. And this, of course, was based on this previous picture that I had used on my profile at one point:

So as you can see, the makeup above needs quite a bit of fine-tuning. But it's looking... alright, I guess. There are still questions that play in my head like, does this need just a single colour? Is brown/gold a decent combination or will some people get different ideas? With a white dress and a flower crown is this thing even going to work?

At any rate, it's leaving me quite excited. I have something very big and beautiful to look forward to.

Tomorrow afternoon, if all goes well, will be my makeup test for the Mio/Homura music video. Yes, we had to reschedule it. If it does happen on the day, then I can finally say that we are moving forward at last. Wonder how long a production like tihs needs to take when it's a community / collaborative project that doesn't involve everyone being in the same company, or whatevs.

I am working on a cover, a Kingdom Hearts cover, called O City That Was Not. Those of you who are wondering what piece of music it's based on, it's this one.

Some of you may have heard previews on Instaudio by this point; regardless: I have finished sequencing the notes, but not tempo and volume envelopes. Considering I don't know the permissions for this, from what I've heard, the safest bet is for it to go on YouTube with some nice visuals. The idea is that I disable revenue on that video -- and the revenue should automatically go to the people who made it or the people who have permissions, in this case, Yoko Shimomura.

@Phyrnna and @EDM364 have offered to help with the lyrics video, and I am very much looking forward to seeing what's ahead. Speaking of which, EDM, I'm waiting to see your meepy effects! ^_^ Anyway:

Considering that I don't know of the permissions about this song, this is going to be a YouTube-exclusive cover. I'm not risking putting it up on Newgrounds unless, say, it's an animation and we're all getting zero revenue from it, but even then I still don't know how it works, admittedly.

The Home Office has allowed me to perform music publicly while sticking to the condition that I do not accept payment (given my situation). Even that is a sliver of liberty for me, to be able to go out and make a name for myself.

If you are in Preston or nearby, expect to see me at the various pubs accompanying a ragtag bunch of friends, singing, and possibly playing any instrument that I take in my hands (mainly drums). See what happens!

Lastly, I want to draw your attention to this playlist: COMPILATION/Troisnyx Remixed. It's a playlist which, as you can imagine, has remixes of my stuff from other users here on NG. It's slowly expanding, of course.

Lately, I've released the stems of one of my short loops, Can You See the Clouds Divide, into the public domain. I'd written a thread about this but at this point, I'm not bothered to source it; what I mentioned there and what I'm mentioning here is exactly the same. If you feel that you'd like to do something with it, you can download the stems here. I'd love to see what you make of it!

So naturally, that playlist is going to have more remixes of that song than of any other. But if you want to remix anything of mine, kindly ask me and if I have the stems, I will pass them along to you. (Some of them may have been permanently lost with the failure of triplicate backups that I'd tried to make some years back.)

On the note of COMPILATION/Troisnyx Remixed, I'd once suggested that if the indie game associated with a certain track of mine ever gets completed, I'd hold a remix contest. The song in question is Nightfall, and the game is still in development hell. So obviously, no contest is going to be held, until further notice.

But if people ask me, if I were to theoretically hold such a contest, what rewards I would give? The only thing I can think of, along the lines of the various game-related art contests on NG, would be Steam keys, a full copy of the OST and Supporter. I'm not sure if there's anything to include in a prize bundle beyond that, but I suppose time will tell. I've had no contact from Arpeggio Games lately, which indicates to me that they really are struggling. Oi @Hoeloe, you still around?

Several years later...

No, but in all seriousness, I don't know what came into me yesterday. Whereas previously the pain of holding down the strings deterred me because my skin doesn't soften, yesterday afternoon was different. I wanted a guitar to experiment with over at Soundskills, and one of my friends, also one of the permanent volunteers there, gave me one to play around with. And I practised a set of chords all afternoon. I'm still practising it today. And for the first time ever, I was willing to work through the pain.

What got into me?

But the result is staggering. It feels like I've played for a while. :O

The plus side now is that I can not only write songs with the guitar eventually if I keep at this -- I'll be finally able to 1) write parts for guitar, and 2) actually realistically sequence one, even if I'll soon not have the need for it if I'm going to be plugging in a guitar to record for songs. But it'll take me a while. I'm able to play some chords in G major, and I've started by rehearsing only a section of one of my songs, one which you all haven't heard yet.

It feels so surreal. But now, I no longer have the excuse of "being able to play everything but brasses, reeds and guitar." I now can only reduce this to brasses and reeds.