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Troisnyx

398 Audio Reviews

263 w/ Responses

I agree with many others in that the intro was quite long. That synth could've started muted, and then went on progressively brighter and brighter until 1:15 when everything started kicking in. Because, were it not for the drums, there wouldn't be too much of a dynamics change.

The synth around 1:40 sounds beautiful and true to the title -- very angelic.

There was a sudden change of mood around 1:59? There was a gradual progression back around 2:22... and then the drop after that was alright.

I like the sense of buildup you have around 2:40 onwards. Everything is introduced gradually, and there's a sense of something greater coming on.

3:40 onwards was my favourite part of the song. This could've been made as a theme for this piece in and of itself.

The fact that this piece is called "Angels in the Sky" kinda hints at the fact that this piece is meant to have an ethereal quality to it. Yes, it does in some places, but there are places where there's a sudden change of mood with those sawtooth synths. And it.... doesn't fit. Throughout the piece, I swear, I was THIRSTING for a warm pad somewhere to balance out the basses, drums and the highs. There were very few mid-range sounds that gave a sense of angelic warmth. Right now, it sounds like something dirty and gritty, rather than something angelic.

Great effort, just try and see what can be added to complement the mood of the piece.

3.5/5.

idfpower responds:

First of all, thanks for the very detailed and to the point review :)

Now, a little explanation about the song's title... this one is part of an album that was built upon a main theme: aliens. So the "angels in the sky" - although hinting a bit at the more ethereal nature of the song, is in fact reffering to extraterrestrials. Hence the "unexpected" harsh sounds used in the song. And there's a reason for the longer intro, because its role is to calm down a bit the album's pace. I can see though why taking it out of context may draw such observations :)

Thanks again for the suggestions & all the best :)

This sounds like the beginning of an Adventure Time storybook... imagine, a children's book with Adventure Time pictures, on a table, and as this song progresses, the pages turn (think the intro of The Sword in the Stone! :D).

The raw voice and the celesta really work wonders. The lyrics make the piece sound very homely, and I like that a lot. The ending just makes me a little misty-eyed -- in a really good way.

My only pickle with this is that the same melody is used on loop. So our song structure is essentially A-A-A-A-A. You could actually introduce a little B section, keeping the raw voice and celesta. Like, a different melody and different chords, but still keeping the feel. So, slightly varied, you'd have an A-B-A-B-A structure. A bit of variation is what will drive the last nail in the winner's plaque for this piece.

I really enjoyed this, and thank you so much for sharing!

4.5/5.

Right off the bat, the piano in the beginning is sparkly and beautiful, and then when the specato strings kick in, it gives an air of creepiness.

The song reminds me of something I would hear in Jak II or even Jak III, and I'm talking in terms of composition style, chords... Very reminiscent of Haven City, dictatorship and war.

1:39 could've used a ground bass, something to up the tension a LOT MORE -- leaving the piano by itself gave a sense of awkwardness rather than fear.

Then when the electronic sounds kicked in and the strings came back in, it was back to that feel from Jak II and Jak III.

And how is there no ending? You faded out? This piece could be expanded to a good length, and given an ending that could scare the daylights out of anyone...

One thing I do suggest is that you don't describe what this piece evokes.... instead, try to describe the premise behind the piece. A backstory, in other words. What could be a good backstory for this? People relate to backstories very well. As soon as they read them, they can relate to the piece. Listeners want to relate to the piece... so I highly suggest you write something that relates to them.

TL;DR: Outstanding compositional style, outstanding chords. There are some issues with the instrumentation and the piece in the middle and ending. Still doesn't take away from the tension, fear and grandeur evoked by the beginning and the last section. Keep up the good work, knock out the kinks -- and let me assure you, you'll have a piece fit for a dictator's grand entrance.

Also, if you haven't listened to the opening music in the film 'The Scarlet and the Black', I suggest you do listen to it.

4/5.

The intro is very reminiscent of Kingdom Hearts Re:Chain of Memories and Kingdom Hearts II (especially Castle Oblivion and The World that Never Was). These are dark areas, and the music has hints of subtlety. What would be beautiful here is if you had a little bit more in the way of dynamics.

Then, come to 1:00... oh man, once again, I love those drums <3 There are chords that don't click together with the melody, so a rewriting of these chords is due. Remember, it's your first song, but it can stand to be better -- so don't be afraid to show it in all its full glory! Rewrite those chords -- inversions, what have you -- and trust me, you'll have a winner.

That syncopated violin melody around 3:00 was beautiful, but it could stand with a bit more of a counter-melody. A melody from, say, a solo cello, backing it, with solid chords.

Unlike the last two I reviewed, this one... I could already sense the good in it from the minute I started listening to it. Again, knock out the kinks, and you will have a winner.

Because this piece is about the old battlefield, where his friends, and finally, the hero, die... allow me to ask you to look up a clip on YouTube. "Kingdom Hearts 2 Final Mix Secret Ending". This illustrates the point rather well. Watch the scene, listen to the music, absorb the atmosphere... and remember which points in the piece you want the tension to rise and fall.

3/5.

Thoughts.

The main problem here is the vocal sample. The vocals here need to be crisp, with short delay and *on the beat*. This piece talks about a very grave situation, something like a piece of music about a dictatorship or an oppressive leadership. Failing to nail the vocals has really gashed my experience of this piece. Because it happens in TWO main sections, we are left beginning the piece on a bad note and ending the piece on a bad note.... Please, if you can, PLEASE rectify that.

That piano after the first vocal section is beautiful, but once again, I maintain that it needs more reverb... There also doesn't seem to be much volume change between some of the piano notes... so a bit more humanising is due. It's a small tweak, but it's readily doable. : )

That specato violin around 2:24 is really, really spot-on and does a lot to heighten the tension of the piece. Well done for using it. Also, I love those drums that kick in around 3:00. I'm a stickler for rhythm. <3

The premise behind this piece is sobering, and if you can knock out those kinks, let me assure you, you'll have a winner in hand. But because we began *and* ended on a bad note with those off-beat, delayed, echoey vocals... I can't say this is something that'll give me chills down my spine, at least not yet. Not until you rectify those kinks.

2/5.

Right off the bat, I must say that this piece has a good sense of chords and melody. You've at least nailed these two foundations.

But this is where it all ends, unfortunately. I have a number of issues with this piece.

1) You uploaded this piece as a loop, when it sounded like either a finished piece or a work in progress. There was no seamless loop. And for 1'18", it's really, really short and could stand for a LOT MORE expansion.

2) The piano could do with some extra reverb. It needs body, especially for those sections where the piano comes in on its own.

3) The strings sound ethereal, but they sound more like backing to a more pulsing buildup. There's very slow attack, which really doesn't help the piece's atmosphere too much.

4) And finally, my BIGGEST point of contention: BUILDUP. All the points I have mentioned just now have led to this. This song is about a single step, a new beginning. A single step should lead to more, shouldn't it? That piano did suggest a single step, but there wasn't much buildup to suggest running, leaping steps from that point onwards, which is what every human heart yearns for.

Pulsing specato strings (and I mean all orchestral strings) can start to kick in when you're illustrating the next step. And then, full orchestra. But more importantly, a climax and a proper ending. This ending sounded like, "kthxbai". Not a very good first step now is it? You could keep the solo piano in the ending once the climax is over, to resolve the piece, but you don't want to leave the music hanging like you did here.

Pieces like these are meant to uplift listeners, and I think you and I know that too well. And in terms of uplifting, this piece could've done *so much more*, it really hurts.

2/5.

gridcrawler responds:

Constructive criticisms like this are extremely rare, at least for me. Thank you for taking your times to write them. All the things you said are right and I have no objection, at all.

Took note, this will be my priority of fixing this month. Thanks again.

Alright, time to break this into sections.

On metrics: While yours were precise (coming out from FL), Puppet's vocals did go off timing quite a bit.

There's a little bit of dynamic change, Puppet's voice did not change dynamics and it kinda didn't sound expressive (especially in the breakdown section.) A bit more instrument layering/loudness around 0:50 would've been appreciated -- right now, it sounds almost like the beginning, and you want to distinguish 0:50 from the beginning because it sounds more like a chorus.

And on the subject of choruses -- did you just use a fragment of the song, or was this the entire song? If it was a fragment, the entire song would've been very much appreciated here, because right now, it's an A-B-C progression, which makes it sound like a stream of consciousness song or novel -- and I really don't buy into stream of consciousness very much.

Mixing's alright; I hear everything quite well. Good job especially with the vocal effects and the piano towards the end. A bit more sustain on the piano in the breakdown would've made it sound a lot nicer.

3/5.

SkillSkillFiretruck responds:

Thanks,

yes it is of the form A-B-C , I planned for it to by a nice epic mini project/demo-reel/show-case kinda thing. It is a 'fragment' of the original song.

Thanks a lot, I got a lot of feed back since it released and I am starting to notice the vocal problems now. :) I will create changes and upload a new version

edit- I'm just going to look back on this after a few weeks or months, i need big break from it.

A vast improvement from the last time -- the vocals are cleaner than the last two songs I reviewed. In most cases, the melody stands out, which is great! There are one or two off notes, but it really didn't detract from my enjoyment of the songs. The chords in the back are very well executed, and you've also got a soulful manner of singing which is fleshed out a lot more than the two pieces I've last heard.

Might I say, everytime the chorus (that part that begins with "Let the sky fall") kicks in, I feel a tug at my heartstrings. This piece started with a rather typical James Bond-ish feel, but then took a rather emotional turn, which I enjoyed very, very much.

5/5.

I'm not sure how to begin with this one.....
The sense of timing and the sense of harmony are missing with this one, which makes me want to gash a number of points. Those are fundamental to any piece.

I do suggest you learn up on how timing and chords work, even in an impromptu piano piece -- these will add depth to the playing. Part of the musical experience is tonality, and this piece doesn't.... have it at all... I imagine, once you do get around to learning how timing works, and what notes fit well with each other, 1) it'll open up vast possibilities for pieces, 2) it'll be a journey for the ears like never before.

However, there's one good thing I notice about your playing: it's that you have expression. That is a strong point that not many players have. Now, when you go about your learning and practise on those piano keys, play with the same amount of expression that you have. Maybe add a bit more loud and soft. Now granted, it's going to be quite the uphill climb from this piece -- BUT I believe that you can do it; you have the makings.

This piece gets a 1/5 because I will admit, I did have a bit of a sensation that my ears were bleeding a little. I really hope to see an upward learning curve from here on out.

The synths are beautiful, and could make for a nice atmosphere in softer parts of the song. They also form the chords, and I have a feeling that I am going to like the chord progression in this song once finished -- after rhythm, chords are the hook for me.

Yet for some reason, I hear that guitar noise (?) coming in off the beat.... assuming that this piece is in 4/4 time, which it does. If it's meant to be a sound effect, perhaps a bit more subtlety is due when it's introduced? Sound effects can sometimes go off the beat, but how they are introduced can make all the difference between how jarring or otherwise it'd be.

I can't say much beyond this, so I do suggest you build on an intro and a post-intro, if you would like to upload the work in progress. I look forward to hearing the full song.

3.5/5 (-1.5 for that offbeat guitar).

Soundsmith, artist, and writer. Known for self-backing choir. Especially love drumming.
If you'd like to work with me, send enquiries via DM or my email at mail@troisnyx.co.uk
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Annette Walker @Troisnyx

Age 32, she/they

Music Director

Lancashire, UK

Joined on 6/26/11

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