Troisnyx's audio Reviews on Newgrounds

[RicePirate! (JakkMAU5)]

Right off the bat, I see an improvement in the instrument buildup and the parts. You're not relying on counterpoint too much at least in the beginning.

The drums are at the same volume throughout, as is the synth making the bass part, which makes it monotonous. However, the drop with the vocals before everything kicks back in is quite good.

What would be appreciated is if you could use volume envelopes to introduce the parts.... many sections of this piece sound like they need to come in gradually. Also, 2:54 had about the same intensity as a little before 1:00 -- the end needs a climactic sort of finish and then resolve well.

The voice clips, though they come in at good points, they sound rather disjointed and don't blend well with the rest of the music -- filters? Possibly incorporating them into the music itself? The one that really left a bad taste in my mouth was the use of the RicePirate jingle towards the end. Because I insist on voices blending in with the music, the voice alone "RicePirate!" could've been used. When you included the whole jingle, it felt like an awkward key change and feel change.

tl;dr:
1) VOLUME AUTOMATION, PLEASE. Without it, the piece sounds rather monotonous.
2) Please consider incorporating the voices into the music rather than as their separate elements, because if this is meant to be a remix, blending it in will give harmony and continuity.
3) Consider filtering (and adding automation on these filters for) some of these voices. You can make a lot of effects with those, and in a remix, you're aiming to take those elements from RicePirate's movies and make them your own.

3/5.

[Transgressor Suite]

This is what came to my mind as I listened. Now granted, I've been reading a lot about the Holocaust in WWII lately so some images I get are directly drawn from it...

0:00: The beginning of this song is rather magical, but that cello coming in also gives an overtone of sadness. As we get further in, I could easily picture people walking on the street, sad at being oppressed.

1:10: The entrance of 'Glorious Leader'? Very stately and majestic.

1:59: Focus to the main characters, the ones filled with life, who want to do something about this tyranny? Again, you brought back that magical quality from the intro, but you made it more life-like. One of my favourite sections.

2:50: Raid on the streets, similar to WWII Europe, followed by an armed revolt?? At least that's what I'm getting.

3:44: I'm not sure what this reminded me of, but the progression after this section was real trailer-ending material.

4:48: A child (Rapunzel??) peeks out from the top of her prison, knowing what would await her should the guards come to open her door. Meanwhile, someone dies on the street, and the hero vows to put an end to the merciless killing.

6:25: You brought back the intro fragment, kudos. It started sad here, but then burst into so much of life and colour, like when Prince Charming leaps and bounds over enemies to save the woman he loves... and to let evil die, and good endure. This is the other of my favourite sections.

My thoughts are kinda hazy right now, but I can say this: you've blended life and death, evil and good, darkness and light with this piece -- and since this is what you were aiming for with the setting, congratulations on a job well done.

5/5.

[WIP Showreel of 2012/13]

My thoughts on each:

Confrontation 0:00 - 0:27
This sounds like the intro to a memorable battle theme -- the broken chords on the strings make way for something that'll stick in people's minds. I say this especially because this is rarely heard in cinematic pieces. All we need now is a good main melody and solid chord progressions and we'll have a winner!

Forest Lake 0:28 - 1:09
Beautiful. Very calm, and might I also add, nice choice of instrumentation. This piece reminds me of the Haven Forest themes from Jak II and Jak 3.

Good Morning 1:10 - 1:24
Is this meant to be the middle section of the song? For the title, the music seems rather..... out of place, probably because it's a fragment and it ends abruptly. That being said: I wouldn't want such an abrupt start to my morning, unless there's special cause for celebration... and this really doesn't sound like something from a regular morning.

Jazz Beat 1:24 - 1:32
If this were to continue in the speed that it's in, I'd imagine it towards the middle of a piece, once enough buildup has been brought in.

Orchestral Practice 1:32 - 2:05
The drums were the hook for me, and they made this piece sound very majestic. The broken chords beginning this fragment were not the most gripping; in fact, they sounded like a lot of other cinematic pieces... overused device.

Beyond the Stars 2:05 - 2:46
Again, the drums are the hook for me. That chord progression used here is rather.... typical.

I've noticed one thing: EVERY SINGLE PIECE here has almost the same tempo, or a multiple of the same tempo. I have a drummer's ear, and I'm able to point this out -- why is this so?

I can't say very much more from what you've shared with us, but do build up on what's good and knock out those kinks, because there is so much good that can be brought out here.

3.5/5.

Grandvision responds:

Thanks for the criticism. I'll have a look into. The reason most of these are the same tempo is because I ignore the BPM slider most of the time when composing a new piece, since I do not have a visual image to cater to, or a specified project tempo rule. I like to mess around with tempo in the piano roll.

[Scary Monsters & Nice S's]

Right off the bat: you've got very soulful playing, and I can overlook the slips because you're expressing yourself very, very well.

Just like one of my solo instrumental pieces, you have a VI - VII - i progression which you use regularly, but you vary that with melodies so well. 1:52 onwards is my favourite section... sparkly bright notes, and I get the picture that someone is afraid, but wants to see the beauty outside.

My only complaint is: Why the abrupt ending? Considering you borrowed a lot of elements from themes from previous seconds, you could do something similar for the ending. Beyond this point, consider me nitpicking -- I'd have loved to also hear some solid left-hand playing. Now I know it's simple to resort to playing in octaves (I sometimes have fallen into this tendency), but some broken chords on the left hand would've added more body to this piece.

4.5/5 (5 in practice).

SkillSkillFiretruck responds:

Solid left hand playing would of been great. Thank you for all your words. I still practice this song now and than, I have changed the ending much. you are right. I'll keep it all in mind.

[Vox of Luna]

Right off the bat, you are making the same error as I did when I started making music digitally: there is *no volume automation*. There's no difference between soft-and-loud, which could be exploited in pieces like these to enhance the emotions of it a lot more.

I notice that you're relying on counterpoint quite a lot in the beginning all the way to 1:37, where a second violin track(?) kicks in, and then it's back to counterpoint, with some slight variation. Though the tone of the piece is meant to be sombre, the sombre feel of the piece can still be enhanced with a bit more chord variation, a supplementary melodic theme... (I tend to be banging on about chord variation and supplementary melodic themes a lot these days, but that is where I gash the most marks, unfortunately.)

The drums don't suggest Classical, they suggest Ambient. The entire feel of the piece is more Ambient than Classical... unless the drums themselves could be modified to resemble what you would expect to hear coming from an orchestra.

Also, what's with the abrupt ending? If this piece was meant to loop seamlessly, I guess I get it.... but because of the complete lack of dynamics, there seemed to be no buildup, no climax, and no resolution... Even Ambient pieces have a change of buildup somewhere in the loop to heighten or lower the tension, and to keep people hooked on the song. Because in songs, people naturally expect the music, the story or the setting to *unfold*.

I like the concept of this piece, the chords used here. With the right amount of dynamics, with the right amount of buildup and supplementary melodic themes, with the right amount of reverb and panning, this could sound beautiful. I see the potential in this piece... and I can hear the performance-ready version in my head now, as I write this. That the piece was uploaded as is --- it is severly wanting in all those aspects I mentioned earlier.

2/5.

Psilenth responds:

Honestly the best feed back I gotten. I plan a re-release based on your review.

[Shake Well]

A lot of things stand out here as excellent: the chord work, the sense of melody (and the occasional sustain), the introduction of various themes (and also the change of feel within the piece). There's nothing I can criticise about this piece that would warrant me docking off a star.

Have you ever considered making this a seamless loop? This is something I would love to hear over and over again as a level theme.

5/5.

frootza responds:

Thanks again for the review Trois,

I'm happy that you enjoyed it. I could make it into a seamless loop, I didn't consider it though since originally I composed this for the 8-bit audio contest. I wish someone would use this as a level theme! Maybe one day!

Frootza

[Tournon]

Right off the bat, the blending of those instruments reminds me of one of the Haven Forest themes from the Jak & Daxter series, which is a good sign!

The drums stand out to me the most, as I'm able to pick out rhythm the easiest. As for the strings: they provide a really good atmosphere but I can't seem to make out the chords sometimes. I hear a lot of VI (Db) and i (F minor) but beyond that... I'd suggest clearly defining the chords and the melody line.

3.5/5.

frootza responds:

Thanks for the review Trois,

Being the first orchestral piece I've submitted to newgrounds, and the second I've written, I appreciate that you went easy on me. Hopped around 1 3 4 and 6 in this one, but the inversions might make it difficult to latch on to the chord changes.

When I upgrade to some better VSTs, and revisit this, I wouldn't turn down your suggestions!

Frootza

[Medieval]

Right off the bat, I like the choice of instrumentation, and the chords. Also, the fact that the pace picked up at around 1:15. The tempo changes make it more soulful.

I was initially going to say, where were the extra melodic themes? Then at 1:41 they started coming in. It started off as a medieval round, which, granted, pieces during that era were rather simple. So kudos to you for bringing the themes in.

Also, those drums. As a drummer, I approve. <3 These have successfully made my heart pound. My only pickle with this is that they are a little muddy. And there seems to be a bass line concealed within the song somewhere, but that last double bass note was a rather sudden one compared to the rest of the piece, where much of the bass frequencies came from the pounding drums.

4/5.

[Xion Battle: The Finale]

Okay, time to address multiple issues with this cover/remix.

First of all, it's a MIDI rip-kind-of-cover, in that the entire set of notes has been taken from Shimomura's original version. There's nothing that makes your piece *truly you*. When we go out to listen to video game remixes, we look for people's unique takes on video game themes...... and pretty much all you can claim to do is emulate the original ('HD remake it')? You need to try harder than that, mate.

Now, the major point of contention is NOT with the instruments, because piano and strings can be used REALLY WELL.

The point of contention here is the MIXING. Rule of thumb: THE MELODY STANDS OUT. Chords blend in to the background. The bass line is precisely that: a firm base upon which the entire piece stands, and when the bass line and the melody are drowned by the slightly dissonnant chords, it really doesn't help the piece. In fact, it makes the entire thing sound awful. Even though I could make out the original notes, the piece was discord from start to end because frequencies were blending with each other so much, the melody and bass were indistinguishable.

My suggestions for this piece: Redo this piece. We want to hear *your* take on it, not Shimomura's. Can you pour your heart and soul into a video game cover, as a Kingdom Hearts fan? Once you've done your spin on it, make sure the melody stands out. Shimomura put in high piano notes for a reason: because their frequencies are high and the piano sounds would sparkle in contrast with the rest of the piece. Also make sure the bass is audible enough for it to be the foundation of the piece.

1/5.

[Boston]

The parts are by-and-large in tune, save for the odd note or two, and I suggest you work on those notes. The harmonies are beautiful.

The vocal parts making the aah chords sound really nice, but they're overpowering the melody. Key to every song: THE MELODY MUST STAND OUT. Because the melody's frequency is higher, separate that higher frequency so that everything in the song can be heard.

As in the previous review I gave you: clean vocals would be appreciated for this. This sounds more like jazz rather than Ethereal Wave -- if it were Ethereal Wave, you'd have a licence to have more reverb on the voices because that's what gives the song its ephemereal quality. NOT in this case, however. Remember: in an acapella track, every voice is a separate instrument, so mix it as such.

3.5/5.