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Troisnyx

398 Audio Reviews

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I must say this right off the bat: Gumi's English singing is more tolerable than Miku's.

Now, back to the song. I was at section (a) when starting this review, and right off the bat, it sounds like a breathtakingly twisted combination of Balalaika (from Kirarin Revolution), circus music, Ghost House themes from New Super Mario Bros., and anything that you hear in a boss battle with clowns -- the most notable example being the Super Demetrio boss battle music in Super Paper Mario.

There's a beautiful dynamic flow between sections. I especially liked what you did with verse (a), getting soft again, having the 'gizmo' sing by itself. I also love the instrumentation A LOT.

My main queries are with the lyrics. I loved verses A / a and the choruses (C), but I'm not sure what B / b refer to. I wonder what this pink gizmo actually is..... It's nothing that can gash my listening experience though, because I enjoyed it. I am curious, what's the story behind the song?

I'm giving my score on musicality alone, because I can't tell on lyrical grounds. Apart from ZipZipper, it's not everyday that I hear songs along this vein. And you pulled it off quite well, musically.

5/5.

steampianist responds:

thank you so much for reviewing this lolz i get paper mario and banjo kazooie a lot but
kirarin revolution is a first

Another friend of Erutan's, I see? :D What a small world! I've only gotten in touch with her since 2011, but..... oh well. On to the music.

Your singing is beautiful -- the last note of "winter moon" could use a slight dragging. The way you sing this piece tells me you have the voice quality of a cantor.

The chanting at 2:00 added tension to the piece, and I appreciated it a lot -- the way your voice blended with Merry's. I would've appreciated a bit more instrumental buildup: after all, you're making the cover yours. Pounding strings and lush orchestration to build up, and then resolve back to the harp perhaps? ^_^

2:43: Merry's voice sounds like what you would hear in one of bassfiddlejones' pieces. She sounds almost like whoever sang "Do You Know Where You're Going To" -- a very timeless, old-style vocal quality.

4:10: Same as 2:00.

That erhu-sounding instrument at the end is poignant, and a very nice touch.

Thanks for sharing this work with us! I will go take a look at that YT channel and see any other works you've done.

4/5.5. Voted 5. Mine's mainly been a question of instrumentation at the chanting parts... but well done nonetheless. ^_^

etherealwinds responds:

I should have known you were an Erufan :) she's definitely one of my biggest inspirations. Being a cantor must fill you with such an amazing feeling each time you perform. Church acoustics, at least for reverb, are totally unmatched.

I actually created this specific instrumental the same week I downloaded FL Studio. Bar recording instruments acoustically, I'd had very little experience creating instruments with software, verging on none, so this instrumental would definitely be very much beginner! ^ ^

Thank you so much for the kind words and the really helpful review! All the best to you.

Alright, here's my two pence.

DYNAMICS
Right off the bat, I notice that you've done something that many of us have done starting out. This is especially evident in the piano and synths: there are no individual note velocities. All the notes are the same loudness, and that makes the piece sound mechanical, unnatural. This also explains why the intro is of the sound loudness as the rest of the piece, when some soft-loud could be sorely used.

MUSICALITY
The song itself gives an indietronica vibe, which I quite enjoy. The main chord progression is well done. The basses have a really nice growl to them, and these are the driving force behind this piece.

4:02 onwards is my favourite part -- you've not only switched the chords up, but you've used A LOT of syncopation, which a lot of established EDM composers don't even do. Simply beautiful!

I've enjoyed listening to this piece very much, and really, the only technicality here is mixing/dynamics. Now I'm not the best at mixing myself and I am still learning -- but if all the instruments are centre-panned, try shifting some left or right. (Not the basses and drums though; these need to be at the centre.) Also, individual note volumes. Volume envelopes, and perhaps even tempo envelopes.

If you are considering remaking this piece after learning all these, I very much look forward to it.

4/5.

Voltus responds:

Hi there, thanks for your Review. I'm kind of embarrassed that i haven't figured that dynamics stuff out beforehand. Well I'm quite lazy, but in my next piece this stuff wont happen again, it's going to be a more streamlined, well idk housy thing. I might revisit this project although I rarely do that, but now that you mentioned this stuff it annoys me while I'm listening!
Anyways thanks again for your review I'd love to get one from you on my next track (or the remake ;) )

Time to get my reviewing ideas out.

INSTRUMENT CHOICE
I have no complaints with the instruments -- they are real-sounding after all.

GENRE
This song still has a part-electro vibe. If you were aiming for orchestral, this could technically fall under Cinematic, because of how epic-sounding these things are.

MUSIC ITSELF
0:00: Sounded like a soft intro, except for the electro-sounding cymbal roll. A cymbal with a lot more decay could've been used for authenticity. We will also take this as our proverbial A-section.

0:59: Counter-melody could've been appreciated here. It would accompany the harp, because a single line of the same note slightly mismatches the epic feel of this piece. Let us take this as our proverbial B-section.

2:08: A crescendo would've been appreciated here, rather than the silence. My understanding is that you're building up to something louder and more complex.

2:11 brought back the main theme beautifully.

2:44: This blend of electro and orchestral here is splendiferous, to say the least. <3

3:22: Back to the theme of 0:59 I see.

3:52: That loudness, and then the introduction of a softer melody, that was well done.

5:00: That silence again was not necessary -- you could've smoothly transitioned to 5:08, piercing through people's hearts as you would want to.

5:39: Again, 2:44. <3 A bit more instrumental buildup, something in winds or percussion, or even harp flourishes, would've been much appreciated here, to essentially tell people, "THIS IS IT. THIS IS THE CLIMAX!"

WHAT COULD'VE BEEN USED HERE
I agree with Kajenx that the song was a bit repetitive. The melodies certainly had potential -- what I heard in the A-section was memorable, and I could sing it after having listened. This song, as I hinted earlier, seriously could benefit from counter-melody use.

Another thing that could be of use is a "bridge" of sorts, a proverbial section C. You have an A-B-A-B-A structure, which makes it repetitive. A-B-A-C-A-B-A would make it a rondo, which would already suggest you've mastered an orchestral form. Also, it switches things up. In that bridge, you could take liberties with key changes, chord changes, borrowing previous melodic themes and adding more original melodies to make it distinct. Musically, I felt this was sorely needed.

Mixing could use some work as well. The instruments sound like they've been panned alright, but we could use some reverb and decay. Now different instruments will have different levels of decay, as you may be well aware. Try to imagine, say, a Super Mario Galaxy song playing in your speakers, and compare and contrast with this. Hopefully, you'll be able to add whatever decay is necessary. No worries, I've been there before. ^_^

Also, I agree with Kajenx about the compressors -- I used to compress my works a lot, so I've been there too. Thing about compressors is that they seem to bunch all the instruments together in a small space, and you can hear that when the file's been exported. If you have to use compressors on individual instruments to avoid peaking, do so -- but do so as a last resort. I trust you'll use better judgment and not compress the whole piece.

FINAL REMARKS
You have done some very solid work with this piece, but the kinks need to be knocked out. I must assert that you have a winner in the works -- and I would really love to hear this piece once more, once the changes are implemented!

3.5/5.

larrylarrybb responds:

Very good tips! I might change the "B section" to make the song less repetitive, and I agree that there needs to be more buildup at 5:39, but I wasn't sure what to use for that buildup. I think I will also remove all of the "silence" areas before the transitions except for the first one, which I think is needed to separate the song's melodies into two distinct sections. Thanks for all the excellent advice!

I'm sensing EBF vibes all over again.... ^_^ Or perhaps that's just me.

Right off the bat: lovely instrumentation. One thing I notice about this loop is that the sections could stand to have a bit more buildup between each other. Intro and 0:12, 0:24 and 0:25, 0:36 and 0:37. Quick fills work best with a gradual change of buildup (slight increase in loudness, slight instrument layering), but between these sections I marked out, there needs to be that EPIC TRANSITION that gets heavier and heavier and heavier until the drums come in... and then BACK TO SECTION A! I do agree with RealFaction about melodies -- and possibly countermelodies -- this might help smoothen the transitions.

0:50 has my favourite chord progression in this loop. <3 This gives me a little bit of a feel of something from Jak II. Here, because it was gradually getting louder, the transition to 1:13 was smooth.

Alright as is, but do see to it that those extra tweaks be thrown in. It's mainly got to do with 1) smoothness of transitions, 2) counter-melodies. I trust you'll see to it! ^_-

3.5/5.

Phyrnna responds:

Thanks for the review! :D There is definitely a lot of work needed on this. >_<

Thanks for listening to the song nonetheless!

This was the first entry in the NGADM Round 1 playlist and let me say right off the bat, listening to this made me think of an angel descending from Heaven (especially around 1:30). I love how all the sounds blended.

2:38 sounded especially heavenly, and brought me back to happy memories of Epic Battle Fantasy.

Now I would've appreciated a bit of a key change to up the ante when it comes to beautiful chord progressions. The tension was going up and up and up and up and then it fell a little bit, but 2:38 was a definite fall -- perhaps I was expecting a more climactic finish than this piece warranted.

Still, though: this is a beautiful piece, and I thoroughly enjoyed listening to it. Outstanding instrumentation, outstanding ambience, and I think it warrants a place in my favourites.

4.5/5.

ErikMcClure responds:

The climax was never what I wanted because of time constraints and the fact that I had no bloody idea what I was doing. It will likely be several songs before I can pull off an effective climax.

Composer, percussionist, artist, self-backing choir.
Half of Two Meeps
Third of Rakoczy
Quarter of Those Fucking Snowflakes
For commission or session work inquiries, HMU at mail@troisnyx.co.uk

Annette Walker @Troisnyx

Age 33, she/they

Choir Director

Lancashire, UK

Joined on 6/26/11

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