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Not sure I'm feeling this one -- there's something about rock / blues / westerns that has a magic of its own -- the music born of the wilderness has a charm of its own. I think the electronic kinda killed it for me... One could say that's a matter of taste, perhaps, but I just found it way too jarring for my ears.

So many sound ideas in this track, I love your progression, your piano lines, the drums. There's the slight delay in the instruments in part and it can be a bit disconcerting but otherwise, I love what you're going for. I really do! 💓

Docking a point for both the abrupt ending and the mixing. With regards to the ending, I'd feel eased out of this if this were left to decay, or perhaps if it were slowed down or sustained. Mixing, that is an entire kettle of fish to be handled another time -- but to begin, I am sensing things being panned to extremes on my headphones, and sound normally doesn't come out that way. It feels a bit warped.

All the best with your submission! Outside of the things I mentioned, thoroughly enjoyed it.

Poosac responds:

Hey! Thanks for putting out a review. I gotta say, you really have good drummer ears since I wasn't able to hear that slight delay. I went into fl to find the problem and yes there was a small gap between some notes and the beat line thingy https://imgur.com/a/rZLxool.

And about the weird panning. I just noticed until now. It wasn't my intention to pan the drums like that (I had no idea how they were rendered that way). So I (cheated) a little bit and changed the panning of the drums :** but next to that I didn't change a thing since yea, this is my submission to the competition. And the ending part I totally agree, I had a hard time finding a good ending for this piece, I thought this would be (good) enough, but yeah I totally agree.

All in all, thank you for this amazing review. I'm glad you enjoyed it! And I also wish you good luck with your submission!

To begin, I'm glad you found the feedback helpful. It's a lot easier on the ears now, every credit to you ^_^

It does feel a tad experimental, like the person below me said. The (kalimba? marimba? synth?) at the top that's playing the remixed melody gives it a feel that makes me think of Crash Bandicoot, at least the early Crash Bandicoot games. No seriously, it really does :D

It still feels a bit spartan, bare. It feels more punk, because a lot of punk hated what most general rock songs did and the musicality was not as important as the anger, emptiness, rebellion conveyed through it. But even for punk, it lacks a certain... oomph. There's a thing about a lot of rock songs where the guitar, bass, drums, kinda make your chest thump with the sheer sound of it. It's not to do with loudness -- it's to do with mixing, preamps, and a whole host of things about the sounds of the instruments that needs to be understood. Don't fret about not knowing it yet -- these things do take time, and I myself am still trying to grapple my way around it.

But I think, these things will come over time. You certainly have done a lot better than the last time -- onward and upward from here!

A suggestion for next time: see if you can't make that guitar chug. Like, chug-a-chug-a-chug-a-chug-a, mimicking the sound of someone strumming it. That could come in useful.

The melody, chords and feel actually feel like Mylene Farmer's songs when it begins. Not so much when the piano does its trills later on, or later when the piece advances -- it gets that feel again in the end. It changes feels a lot, but the intro was what grabbed me the most.

The piano is mixed the best out of all of them -- I'm not sure about the strings; they sound a bit too synthesised for my taste. The instrumentation is otherwise effective, and it's one of those tracks where 'less is more.'

Erso responds:

Thank you for your criticism, I'll improve these things. I don't exactly understand what were you trying to say about Mylene Farmer's songs. Is it good, is it bad, I don't know.
Piano... «mixed». Don't be kidding me, the only thing I made with it is channel volume changing and maybe some velocity changes.
Synthesised strings... Well I imported them from DirectWave, as much as two other soundfonts. I tried searching different things but didn't find anything that would fit better than this one soundfont.

I left a review on the artwork and what I understood it to be, and with that, I'll review this one.

The mood of this one is a hard one to strike. It is an abrasive subject matter, drawn with soft shading, about booze and its effects. You do illustrate it to a point, the higher synths you use sound like what we'd imagine bubbles to be. The music in the background -- I can't really decide.

Because on the one hand, the parts that sound lusher sound beautiful and glamorous, and in keeping with that confidence she gains, but the softer parts feel a bit abrasive to my ears, something that the original artist didn't do. The low chords, I'm not sure about them. The same with the pad when it comes in; I imagined it could be eased in just like the image eases us into what is actually pretty abrasive. It's quite abrupt and jarring when it enters.

The percussion is quite alright. It gives the feeling of a pop song. There's not much bass to back it up though, in the softer parts.

I'm not sure what to feel about this. Mostly positive I guess? I'd love to hear this sung to, completely sung to, with a soft, sultry voice and RNB timing, because it really gives off that vibe.

The ending was quite abrupt. I wondered if the synth lead should just stay playing on its own along with the bubbling sound FX, to show what happens when the girl gets plastered. It felt as though this thing dealt with the other two phases of the image, the glamour and confidence, and a bit of the behavioural change.

Mixing is on point.

Right off the bat, the melody is catchy -- but would benefit from a little bit more reverb and a lot more expression; right now, it seems as though they're round about the same volume level, each note on that melody. The drums are spot-on, I guess.

The song has the feel of a pop song, but only if that lead is sung -- it gets annoying by the 1:18 mark when one realises it's been repeated a lot. It doesn't give me chance to appreciate the nice buildup going on in the instrumental, and I really mean it -- the instrumental gently eases in.

1:58 was a nice change of pace. That pad that comes in for added rhythm sounds quite nice in the whole mix.

I'm at 3:31 and I find the song itself quite repetitive; without singing or variations in the melody it feels that way to me. I found myself wondering if it was going to be the case for 6 minutes. The pad at 4:12 could've been added earlier, to build up the song, or to merely give it a gentle ending.

You seem to have gotten the mix down well. The only thing I'd recommend is to perhaps revisit your sections, see what arrangement of sections makes songs enjoyable to listen to by most people -- and perhaps see where it takes you.

3.5/5. Voted 4.

Nyctophilia responds:

This has helped me a lot and I know how to improve... Thanks! I can't really add lyrics as I'm not great at singing and can't find vocal artists (well it's more that I haven't really tried but never mind XD), but yeah this has really helped me, thanks!

There are things I could nitpick about this one; the lower hand drums being so heavily reverbed is one, the jarring shift from high reverb to low reverb is another, but I'm not going to do that here. Probably the only thing I'd suggest is about the same reverb on the flutes and other winds when the rest of the music dips out, but other than that:

I think this music needs a jarring shift. A lot of music of the prairies that we know and love comes from idealised western films, which of course don't paint an accurate picture of what happened here -- many of the settlers fled persecution in their own lands, only to persecute others. The strings(?) have chords that sound like fraying nerves, which is precisely what happened here.

If anything, if I try to picture a scene to this music, it'd be that of the mistrust (and perhaps distrust) that comes about when the natives and the settlers met on the prairie, with air distorting in front of one's eyes due to intense heat if you go further south -- that even if either side says they mean no harm, both sides are extremely apprehensive of each other and they know that one side is basically going to proverbially skewer the other in the rear. I can see it now: I can see faces twitching in disgust, just as the natives and settlers meet.

eluukkanen responds:

Thank you for the broad review of the track Troisnyx! Idea was originally to show the distrust between native and settler folk, so I am glad you got that out of that. Thank you Troisnyx

The instrumental reminds me of Simon the Sorcerer, or the old PC game series by that name. Until those pads come in when the pace slows down, it doesn't quite fit.

I do get the general feel of people making mischief, but at the same, musically, it's all over the place. The rhythm of the notes certainly does give a playful, mischievous feel, but chord/melody wise, they clash too much for it to be entirely palatable to my ears.

Also, the ending is quite abrupt. It'd have been nice to turn this into a loop, I'd have liked to hear it as a piece of background music.

I have no complaints with the mixing at this point.

TL;DR: Rhythmic feel is there. Really not sure what to say about the melody and chords. There is a part of me that likes this a lot, and a part of me that doesn't.


Trash-Man-1 responds:

I agree with everything you said. I wondered myself about about the pad section. I'll try to be more careful on future songs. I have a nasty habit of going all over the place. I'll also try to extend my outros as well. As for the clashing, it was a risky choice I took, so in the future this shouldn't be a problem.

Thanks for the review. Nice to get the information.

I've heard people complaining asking to have their songs reviewed if it warranted any amount of stars (especially 1, 2, 3 stars), so I'd best do something about that now.

I want to take you back to any songs that inspired you, perhaps got you to write music in the first place, perhaps brought you to Geometry Dash. Let's talk Waterflame, Detious, Xtrullor, people of their league. What do you notice about them?

Their songs have a beginning, they build up tension, they bring about great amounts of joy, excitement, passion, emotion, and then release it.

Now, by comparison -- and I know this is a first piece, but I ought to review it as I hear it -- it feels quite weak. There is no change in emotion, no change in feel, it's quite underwhelming to listen to, and I can only imagine that if it ever got featured in a level, it'd feel quite underwhelming to play.

I have one suggestion for you, and an important one if you are to improve: Listen to the people who inspired you. Take notes on what makes their songs so good to your ears, and put timestamps on those. Do this for as many songs as you like. Then sit down, and write and put in the hard graft till you get a piece that you are more than happy with.

Because as it stands, I cannot, in good conscience, scout you. I feel you need to have a higher quality of work before I can hit the Scout button.

CyclicalXP responds:

Thank you for that review. I will create songs better. I just need some practice on the studio. Here is my response to your words.

I will take inspiration, but I want to take it outside Geometry Dash, something more extra-ordinary.

This song is just a practice. I put little effort to make this. Yes it is very underwhelming to play. I will release another song with more effort, more emotion, more excitement, etc. (Remember: I am still not good)

Once again. Thank you for the review. I will improve my musician skills in the future. I won't beg to scout, it's all into people's decisions, if they want this song to be scouted or not.

UPDATE: 03/12/20
I have made a new song that could hopefully make me recover from this. Don't worry I'm not forcing you again. It's just an update. I'll still continue doing what I love. You may check it out though, it's named "Sunshine".

I have no complaints with the mixing, only the feel. ;_; It feels a bit.... underwhelming for an Easter track. The only thing I can really associate this is with green blades rising. The piano and harp sound mysterious, and that's nice, but it just doesn't really go anywhere.

Springtime evokes the feelings you've put into this piece; Easter is quite different. When I talk about Easter, I talk about a burst of joy, I talk about new life, I talk about resurrection, about hope that comes rushing into you when it had been previously lost through the bleakness of winter (and the bleakness of life). All that was missing from the piece, and so it's kinda meh to me. Easter is my favourite holiday of the year because of what it signifies, and I especially hate that it's given such underwhelming treatment compared to Christmas, even in music.

eluukkanen responds:

Thank you for the feedback Troisnyx! Nice to see your view and take on it. Easter means many things to different people, nice to hear your thoughts on it.

Pronounced "trwa-nix." I dream up meepy dreams full of meep.
Currently doing things nonprofit. (she/her)

Annette Singh @Troisnyx

29, Female


Lancashire, UK

Joined on 6/26/11

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