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I get a Bowie vibe in places, R.E.M. in others, which makes me want to listen even more. It does bring to mind 80s synth pop. So if there's a lack of humanisation in some of the parts, I suddenly realise 'oh hang on, synthesisers, there's a general feel being created here.'

I love those little sweeping synths, which I can catch better in the beginning and end.

I'm not sure about the main lead vocals in places (especially the verses) -- I don't know whether it's deliberately shaky or not. But the vocals in the chorus "Welcome to my space fantasy" were alright, most of the harmonies were on point. Listening louder, I noticed backing vocals that were otherwise hidden, they sounded like a background choir drone, and I tend to like that nuance that you added.

I am a sucker for nuance and buildup. Pity there were no more verses.

maxxpump responds:

Thank you for you indepth review, I love David Bowie and REM's pretty cool (loosing my religion). I've had a lot of time to practice this song since I composed it and I think I got the vocals to a point that they are not bad at all. A majority of my music comes out with a 80's style flair, I was brought up listening to a lot of 80's artists. While doing this live it does have a second verse which I dropped on the studio version as I didn't want the recording to be to long, kind of was wanting to go for a radio edit as it were. The lack humanisation stems from my love for listening to Gary Numan and I think overall the vocals and orchestration really make this something which sounds very unique.

I probably need to play with the vocal mix a bit more, as some parts are up too loud while some of the backing is too quiet. I'm still going to do a completely remastered version of this for a new album project I am compiling.

But I will look into making a extended version maybe when it gets recorded at one of my upcoming gigs, I'll figure something out!

I am truly glad to have cast you as Newgrounds' own Nene, I REALLY am. I caught this just by chance in my Audio feed, and not only are your expressions impeccable in both languages... your English is impeccable!

I only know a tiny, tiiiiiny bit of Korean so it didn't get me through all of this demo but I presumed that a lot of it had to do with the flow of what it was you were saying at any given point in time, e.g. the student chiding her classmate for dozing off in class. Amazing vocal clarity, at any rate -- and I'm looking forward to having you on board the project when the script is done!

JessieYun responds:

Hi Troisnyx!

Thank you very much for the comment! I'm really glad you enjoyed the performance :D
And me too! I can't wait to get started!

Thoughts through timestamps:

There's a pretty ear-grinding synth which tends to be mitigated by the bass coming in at about 1:30, and then after that, that riser (?) at 1:54, when high, sounds like an air raid siren. Considering the title of your piece, well done.

2:20, nice feel. Nice melody, and nice everything else, if not a bit repetitive. Even at 2:48 I feel the same; it could have been a chance to switch things up, as if 2:20 was a prelude.

3:21 onwards, quite calm and anticipatory. The background instruments sound ever so slightly chaotic, which seems to me that outside of the trance music, it is depicting an emergency situation.

4:15 is REALLY nice. That piano has some nice lows, and that guitar lead is fat as ever. 4:40, when the beat comes in, there's that air raid siren riser again.

5:07 has a different melody altogether, hm. And some nice chord play too. 5:36 again could have been a chance to switch things up; it otherwise sounds almost exactly like the section before it. 6:05 is the same, but a bit more built-up. I love the feel anyway; it's just that the buildup here feels... a bit *too* gradual.

7:00, back with that guitar lead which I love very much. It's a pity that I didn't hear the original melody coming back, the one from 2:-something. A pity also that I didn't hear old and new melodies combined somehow. Because immediately after that guitar lead section comes the wind-down, which I felt a bit sad about; I felt that this song had far more to tell me than it actually did.

I have no complaints about the mixing.

My general thoughts: Nice song. It feels as though the song has far more to tell me, in certain sections where buildup could have changed the course of what you were feeling (texture rather than beat). I wanted a sense of returning to base, sort of, but the only time I got it was with the wind-up and wind-down and guitar leads. A main melody making a comeback would have helped with that feeling better. Otherwise, you chose your textures quite alright, and some of your instruments, I swear, could have sounded like background foley. Keep up the good work.

Already from the beginning I sense a very dark, eerie, foreboding vibe about this. Then 0:44 changes the atmosphere from ambient and ups the pace quite a bit. You have a good sense of buildup here.

1:16 sounds to me like I'm escaping from something trying to devour me (or a stage trying to devour me). There's an otherworldly, alien feel to it. That lead that comes in after this point might as well sound like you're having Hatsune Miku sing this; it brings that to mind for me, with those grace notes. It feels soulful in comparison to the rest of the piece. Interesting juxtaposition. One that doesn't sound jarring, either. It seems to fit quite well. ^_^

2:17 sounds... a bit bare for my taste, but everything has its place.

2:40 is back to the soulful melody vs the alien background. 3:03 turns it up quite a bit; it sounds more foreboding than soulful there.

I have no complaints about the mixing. Everything seems to be in order there.

3:40-odd, feels like an abrupt ending and 3:59, an even more abrupt ending. No distortion noises; it just pops out. It felt quite strange to me. Did you intend for this to loop?


One thing's for sure: you HAVE certainly upped your quality. I'm nitpicking here and there but otherwise, well done. I quite liked it.

NyxTheShield responds:

Yeah ie ffed up the ending, I think I uploaded the wrong file buuuuuuuut it kinda worked hahahaha Glad you liked it!

Since it's short, I should be able to tell in a bit of detail what's good and what isn't as much.

Your mixing has improved since I last heard from you. With the exception of one particular section (0:51 etc.), everything seems to have its proper place in the mix.

I'm not sure what to make of the string-like pad in the background. It sounds...... I have no idea, like something that belonged in some cheesy song, which is probably not what you were going for here. There is always an appeal for picked clean electric guitar in things like this, but that's just what I imagine here -- you could perhaps imagine something else that sounds as awesome in there.

0:51 is a bit of an oddity. What are you going for here? 4/4? 12/8? You've got what seem to be drum loops that do a sort of 12/8 beat on a 4/4 song. On the one hand, you have straight 4/4 and on the other hand, you have a 12/8 beat. Now, done well, it could provide for interesting rhythmic patterns. Done not so well, as in this case, you're left wondering 'what on earth happened here?'. On my second listen, I noticed that other things were clashing too -- basslines against melody, for example.

1:06 keeps things simple and brings it all down, of course. Your resolution of this piece is good.

The main troubles with this piece are that:

1) it is very short -- which wouldn't really be a trouble in and of itself but it is compounded by the second below, i.e.

2) it is too repetitive.

We listen to things and they're varied a fair bit; good songs tend to vary in texture, in loudness, or even in thematic material. If a song is too short, or too long for the average, it needs to have enough to make it interesting.

You've nailed the loud-soft of this piece, but not so much the texture, and most certainly not the thematic material. I was left feeling a bit let down at the end when 1:06 came in and the first question that came to mind was, "what, that's it?" I feel as though you were going for the car advert vibe, almost, and some of them do it really well. But this one feels underwhelming to me.

My recommendations: study your favourite pieces. Try to write down, describe in your own words, what makes a piece awesome. And train yourself not to say "oh because it's awesome and I have no words." Yes, I understand some songs can leave us breathless. But once that feeling passes -- we are able to try and imagine what led us to feeling that way. Was it the instrumentation? Was it the tempo changes? Was it the themes, or the soft and loud? Was it something else, like key changes or otherwise technical stuff that most songs wouldn't do? Or was it because the song was simple, but effective -- and if so, how?

Hopefully, doing this, you may be able to focus your learning, and find the areas you would like to start improving on first.

Spikrin responds:

thanks for the constructive critism! Im still working on my music, and getting better, i recently got inspired by renosance, by home. i want to make a song maybe similar to that song in some way.


I like those bells you use for top-end frequency, it all sounds magical. The rest of the background music may be simple, but sounds quite full and backs it up well. And the end slidey thing, whatever that is, actually sounded quite nice -- I'd have loved to hear just a little more of it.

My only nitpick would be spacing -- how much of it is going to be instrumental and how much of it is going to be vocal, etc. But I understand it's not an exact science; we're bound to make errors and we're bound to have some nice moments when it comes to spacing.

Well done!

iorilicea responds:

Oki, Thanks for your review!
And yes... It's not an exact science but the good times will be come ...

As far as genre is concerned, I have to agree with FirePowerX below me. It has all the makings of an electro house track. Now, onto the merits of the track itself.

It's really catchy. The melody is singable, which is a factor in how memorable it is. Also, the mixing is on point. I love those brittle-sounding pads in the background that come up every so often, no idea what they're called. Also, that piano. <3

There is a lot of buildup and a lot to keep the track interesting. Breakdowns are really nice and leave me anticipating more. If you were looking for a clear sound on this one, I think you've kinda nailed it; I'm at a loss for anything to suggest here, in the best way. It is that good.

It's surprisingly good. Abrasive, but not ear rape. Certainly has more tonality than some of the so-called amazing songs I've come across. When it goes to that F minor thing, it sounds so nice. If it wasn't drum n bass, I'd have thought it hardstyle just by the sounds you use.

Okay, for one, the song is NOT in A harmonic minor, because if it were, the bassline would actually reflect it. It's not even in the old or modern musical modes. It's F with a whole lot of dissonance.

That being said: you certainly did create a dramatic effect with this song. The dubstep was subtle, I guess, compared to other dubstep songs I've heard, but it's still there. And I like it. It's different somehow. I like it subtle, and not in-your-face, because it means that you have to listen carefully. There are no mixing issues, not to my ears anyway, which means everything is a matter of just listening and appreciating.

There is a general sinister feel to it, what with the consecutive 5ths you use. If the Matrix were made now, I could see this fitting right into the trailer.

Slight complaint, which doesn't otherwise gash from the enjoyment of the piece: percussion at 4:00 or thereabouts feels neither here nor there, but you manage to bring a sense of direction back with the rest of your piece.

JordanKyser responds:

A Harmonic minor is the C scale with a G sharp. The bassline mostly reflects the scale. The main notes I used were B, C, F, and G sharp, but I also used the rest of the notes in the minor scale (mainly in the leads).

The percussion at 4:00 is supposed is sound like ship landing (first bang), loud blasts (rest of the bangs), and stomping on puddles (those sounds that sound like short crackling).

One problem I have had with my songs was that mixing issue, but this song seemed to not have it to exist.

I was actually inspired to create this when I was messing with one of my Touhou remakes that I am currently making (I put three random notes: F, then E, then G sharp).

The only thing that was bad was the first 5 seconds (the limiter did work, but the square-ish lead grinds your ears a bit). The limiter I used work well afterwards.

During the third drop, I split it into three parts: that part around 4:00 (the most cinematic feel in the whole song), the build-up, and the actual drop.

Anyways, I put the most effort into this song than any other song that I have made.

There is a late 90s, early 2000s vibe to this intro, which I like. But as Squeegee below me said, this could do with being more progressive. That intro was long, which may not be the best thing unless you're gunning to be a Mike Oldfield. ^_-

1:20 or thereabouts sounds fun, but not much different in terms of buildup / loudness from the intro. Nice to see a little bit of sparkle kick in. Just feels awfully long, yet again.

2:10. A bit of a pullback from previous sections, which is nice. You pull back even further at 2:40 or so, which is okay, though I'd appreciate a bit of a pullback on the drums as well.

At 3:10 I have heard the exact same melody and chords as at 1:20, and it gets tiring. There is no variation, and for something which is meant to be long....

3:30 really adds a layer of tension, which is nice -- and should have been there early. And when 3:57 kicks in, that's a nice length of time if you will. Only complaint I have around there is that bass is peaking badly in my headphones.

4:40 sounds like it's not sure where it's going. The melodies and countermelodies are darting all over the bloody place.

5:00 onwards should have been earlier, as well.

I mean, the general complaint I have is that it's a long song, which means for it to be kept interesting, it needs to be decently varied. It isn't. Transitions take awfully long from one to the next, and even long pieces a la Mike Oldfield have been sufficiently atmosphere-changing. This one isn't. The same chord progression for nearly all of the piece, for 9 minutes and 50 seconds, really wears me out. And I mean, it's okay when it is video game music, but even then, it would be sufficiently varied because otherwise, it just pisses listeners off.

Listen to the house songs you really like. And I mean, REALLY like. Notice what is good about them. Not just musically. Notice where certain sounds come to the forefront, and certain others are pushed back. I know remixes and actual EDM songs that can be 9 minutes or so long but still, it has almost the same appeal as popular music in general: a great deal has to be done to keep the listener hooked into the dance.

Spikrin responds:

yes i know, this is one of my older songs, better ones coming soon!

Pronounced "trwa-nix." I dream up meepy dreams full of meep.
Currently doing things nonprofit.

Annette Singh @Troisnyx

29, Female


Lancashire, UK

Joined on 6/26/11

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