That opening is actually pretty atmospheric, reminds me of a jam about to start. The rest of it actually feels like a nice, chilled-out thing that I could happily listen to. There's something about it that reminds me of Stewart Copeland's soundtrack writing for Spyro.
This is one of those tracks that doesn't exactly need to "go" anywhere -- this, however, is one I would like to see extended and looped.
Thank you for your feedback! Glad you like it !
The opening is suitably wide and mesmerising.
0:31's lead is too far forward compared to the rest of the mix -- its introduction was sudden. As the piece progressed, it actually did feel like it fit right in. The melody felt in some places like it was singable, and in some places like it was darting a bit here and there.
It's too soon for me to say what I feel about this since you're barely even halfway through this -- though you doubtless know what would need to go into this piece to make it complete. I look forward to hearing the finished work!
The melody needs to be revised from scratch, as do transitions and some of the instruments, like the kick, which in this version is straight up garbage.
The only things I'm fond of are the synth gated progression and the accordions rising; the original idea was to make a summer piece, mashing up tropical and latin sound styles (like in Danza Kuduro) with more modern and processed sounds.
I can see why it is one of your all-time favourites :O The ambience to begin with is sinister and sets the pace for the rest of the piece, impressive for a series of first tries.
I'd probably go with a slightly more distant lead to begin with, bringing it in more as it progresses -- but that's just a nitpick at this point.
The breakbeat is delicious. I am getting quite the Metroid vibe from this. I guess from here on out, it's up to you whether you want to keep it as is, or make it lusher, or expand on it -- what you have here, however, is fittingly dark and gritty, and reminds me of a dystopian place.
Gonna split my thoughts into mixing and composition.
First, the mixing. You're doubtless aware of what needs to be done; I find that louder sections (especially with the percussion) are muddy. Otherwise, it's alright, the samples you picked were excellent.
Second, and more importantly to me, the composition. I am critiquing this in light of the challenge you picked.
If there's a part of this piece that has a good bit of character to it, it's the ending, which sounds like the playful and melancholic wanderings of a street boy. You might think it was rushed, but I felt like it could be the after-intro, a means of setting the scene. I wish I heard that more. I wish I heard the emotional literacy of someone telling me the story of wonder and awe of that silent moment with the dove choosing the boy for a very solemn mission. I want to hear the quivering of the boy's voice as he struggles to come to terms with it. I want to hear the undercurrent of strength through all that weakness.
Because I didn't feel like it was there. On its own it was okay — I would still be hard-pressed to hear *your sound,* set apart from someone else's, but it's decent. In that regard, I agree with @valdamaer. When I take into account the context of the challenge, it feels like this could pass as the music of any sombre journey scene, and not specifically to do with this boy being given a vision of a solemn undertaking.
I feel heartbroken, and I had to make sure that my feelings over this piece weren't playing tricks on me, that I wasn't somehow overlooking these shiny samples or the composition.
You have doubtless taken influence from so many other composers you have heard — I want to encourage you to find the influence that makes you truly feel like their story is being told differently, and then give that your own spin. I want to encourage you to consider the environment and the emotions running through people, and I want you to give them an experience they'll never forget.
Thanks so much for the in-depth review.
Mixing is something I’m still figuring out, especially with the percussion since I’m still learning what each instrument is supposed to do and how that sound would fit in my music. The percs sound really awkward here honestly.
For the ending, I do agree that it could have been fleshed out way more. I actually wanted to make that section much longer but I was only hours away from the deadline at that point. Didn’t really like how it sounded at first but after hearing it again, I do agree with you that it has an interesting tone to that could have been expanded on. As you’ve also said, it probably works better after the intro rather than the end (or the end could have a different variation of that section).
As for the overall sound, I think it did need a little more diversity in its tone. The piece was intended to just be one “dramatic” climax that you would probably hear near the end of a game but I forgot it’s called forgotten “journey” lol. Then again, there was still a lot more that was planned if it wasn’t rushed so it may have sounded more complete if I put more time in it.
Anyway, thanks again for the critique!
Those textures, harmonies and chords are exemplary. Well done.
That bass feels like a pocket groove to begin with. The odd dissonance crescendo gives me the feeling of being pursued. When staccato, it does bring to mind Jak II when there is a huge horde of enemies to take down (that has gotta be some of the earliest instances of programmable music I know), and those high staccatos basically give off the highest level of warning.
The sound effects are on point.
I'm not sure I'm feeling the melody so much, or more to the point: whether it is conveying that same level of emotion as what you are describing. The SNES was capable of some very lush textures (if you remember the Upper Brinstar music from Super Metroid for example), and they could be used to add dissonant descending chords for instance, to give off that heaviness in the air, that feeling of hardship and dread.
I don't get that from the melody; I would appreciate that section being expanded upon to allow for that emotional play.
Thank you so much for the very informative review! I'm happy that I managed to convey some of the elements I wanted to go for. That's a big win for me.
My music skills definitely needs polishing and I'm glad for people like you who step out of their way to take the time to point out workable flaws and give constructive comments.
Merci :)
That lead that quick-fades in and out has the vibe of someone whistling or playing a reed instrument in the breeze. Haunting.
Thank you! That's exactly the sort of vibe I was aiming for!
Woefully underrated and woefully underappreciated from what I can see; I enjoyed every moment of it -- even the seemingly less polished, less on-the-beat moments. The whole thing felt so real, like I could see you performing it with other musicians. There's a LOT of energy and drive keeping this going.
Thanks for tuning in! Happy you liked it :) rock on ♪ ♫
Long time no see! This piece is as melodic and soulful as I remember your style being. Your chords and key changes have pleasantly caught me off guard; this has been a joy to listen to.
Ye, it's been a whiiile! Love when a fellow musician enjoys my chord progressions, hahah. Thanks for the kind words, I had a great time making this.
I'm hearing a very mesmerising whistling thing in the background 👀 It feels nice to hear it go up and down.
Minus the slight dissonance that didn't quite sound like the Db major chord progression, I was thinking of melodic lines because I got compelled to, by looking at your description. The moments of dissonance made it a little hard for me, because I think I had a couple ideas. ^_^
Composer, percussionist, artist, self-backing choir.
Half of Two Meeps
Third of Rakoczy
Quarter of Those Fucking Snowflakes
For commission or session work inquiries, HMU at mail@troisnyx.co.uk
Age 33, she/they
Choir Director
Lancashire, UK
Joined on 6/26/11
Little Nightmares 
Dunnohowtonamethis (WIP) 
Ambient Conclussion 
Crest - VGM Challenge 
The Forgotten Journey 
Twilight Jungle 
Faux Fez: Lonely Beach 
Underdog 
