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15 w/ Responses

I have no complaints about the animation -- in fact I was one of the first viewers, and one of those who saw your animation to saving stage -- but I decided to give it a revisit and put in my honest two pence.

ANIMATION
Fluid and beautiful. You have a juxtaposition between the colourful and curved elements, and the angular and monochrome ones. There's a beautiful aesthetic all about. No objections here.

MUSIC
Simple, I suppose, but effective. I'm a fan of neither style, but it serves the contrasting stories in the film quite well.

FURTHER COMMENTS
The message about people either 1) knowing the truth and living in fear, or 2) being drugged by whatever it is drives them -- society, education, and in your parlance, religion.

If you ask me, too many people get this message out. It's tried, over and over again, by various people in various media, that the whole message is old and tired.

What about people who live in the gloomiest darkness, everything's out to get them, yet they *conscientiously* see hope and faith because they do not want to sink into the waves of fear?

What about people who decide for themselves how they perceive the world, even if others think these few people are drugged?

Pull me a Tolkien, where people who conscientiously stand for good are in their hour of desperation and nothing seems to work by scientific probability, but with the sheer strength of will, the great good happens and the Free Peoples are saved from harm. You know. Pull me that. Because too few people even try to explore such a theme.

TL;DR
Points for the animation and music -- beautiful animation by the way! -- but I fail to see how the message in this film warrants any extra stars, because it's just plain old and tired.

3.5/5.

Kudos, you've also shown ME (as a girl) the reasons why I absolutely hate clubs.

1) The music is not only loud, but also very very repetitive, even for months on end! You can't even appreciate anyone or anything with it.

2) I just want to dance -- and I cannot bring myself to dance for one-night stands.

3) Most mainstream EDM, chart and cheese played in clubs is NOT MY KIND OF MUSIC.

4) Drinks. Some people are just out to intoxicate the girls so that they can get notches for their bedposts.

As for the animation -- it was simple, but very well done. I like it quite a lot! I don't think there's much I can complain about here. The voice acting was hilarious, nicely done!

5/5.

itsalexclark responds:

thanks so much for your wonderful review.

No, it didn't make me laugh whatsoever.
Yes, it made me think of just how much fanservice goes into games and movies.

I am quite sick to the stomach of excessive fanservice (I can understand there being a little) -- and this short speaks volumes of how turned off I am.

By the way, lovely sound. Animation was alright; I somehow wondered what was up with the hands in this video.

4.5/5.

Now let me lay the record straight.

You don't have a render farm, okay, point taken. And so you show us a snippet of your talent by providing this teaser, which is just two images.

I don't have a PC suitable for making music -- it's literally FALLING APART, the screen hinge is gone, the RAM is low, the processor is awful, but I STILL churn stuff out that sometimes outdoes it, even threatens to blue-screen it.

I don't know what software you use (Blender? 3DS Max?) but if you're not willing to push that computer to the limit and exercise patience to make a full-length trailer, you haven't gone far in our books. A lot of people here have done the opposite of what you've done, sometimes even with very little on their hands. If it should take you years to finish this, so be it. Don't give half-hearted work.

I'm saying this to you because I've learnt this lesson the hard way. In the NG Audio Deathmatch last year it was so easy for me to be a bad carpenter and blame the tools. My PC was overheating, I had no mic, and it was insane for me to do something constructive in just two weeks (which was the deadline for each piece in this contest). I was up against Waterflame, whom I would have soundly defeated had I the skill that I have now. Now with more time on my hands....... more patience, and more understanding, I'm able to churn out much better stuff.

We're very welcome to provide a render farm? NO. You are very welcome to start giving that trailer of yours HARD, SOLID WORK. This, although it's two screens, is kinda pathetic, because it looks more like a fanart display which would be better suited for the Art Portal rather than an animation.

3/5. Courtesy stars for effort.

KiWiArts responds:

I really appreciate that you took your time to write this.
I know where you coming from. But I have to disagree with some things you’re saying.

First, you can't compare audio with 3D production. Anyone who seriously did 3D before knows how time consuming it is. If you render decent quality imagery it would take around a day to get a final image/frame out (all the tweaking and test rendering not included). Obviously if you working on a single middle to high-end workstation like myself.
I'm not the biggest audio guy, but I know that with audio the process is much more straightforward.
You don’t have periods where you just let your computer work by itself on 100% capacity over the period of weeks to months. And that if everything wants smooth with no errors.

Second, sometimes we forget that some people have other things going on beside just one project, real life, jobs, other projects, etc. This started basically as a study for myself in the first place, which I could see having more potential. I tried new techniques out and learned a lot in the process, so for me it was a done project. I was just sharing it. I hope the people who know who things are behind the curtain can appreciate. Little things might seem effortless for the uneducated eye but have in reality a lot of work behind it.

I would be the last one to make excuses by just blaming my hardware. But it’s a fact, that in the world of 3D, things don’t come that easy if you’re aim for a certain level of quality with limited resources.

Nevertheless, again, thank you for giving a such an extended review!

Alright, review on this, considering I watched that awful video on iCups before.

1) Why does the voice sound like someone trying to copy Ryan Higa???

2) The music and animation are alright, but read this in conjunction with point number 3).

3) Why only narration? The story would've really hit home if someone wrote an actual STORY along those lines. The narration makes the whole video sound a bit fake (visuals taken into consideration as well). The narration would've been a good set of lines for someone trying to, say, scold another person because he's not recognising the good in people.

4) That having been said, the message is simple and encourages people to accept others for who they are. BUT there's more to it than that.
- If you're not good at something and still want to be good, you can train.
- There are many external factors which lead to people being good at this, that or the other. Let's just simplify it, call it 'nature' and 'nurture'.

So this take, however simple, was a little shallow.

My skill is reviewing... truthfully, and honestly. And with that....

3/5. Courtesy stars for the animation and the crux of the message. Not a hit, by no means -- but certainly better than that iCups video competing against it.

I have to agree with the many other reviews that say this video bleeds pop culture. But here's my take on this:

1) You've got a sales pitch for iPhone CUPS which doesn't really *sell* the brand. It just states what it is. Commercials these days tend to hit home or be shocking, but this really wasn't. This was more..... like an 80's or 90's kind of descriptive commercial, which just doesn't fit.

2) The voices and music sounded alright — SexualLobster did an alright job with this —but beyond that, it did nothing much to impact me. The idea behind it was simply flat.

3) The animation was fine, but it's ultimately going to beat a dead horse. No amount of bells and whistles can make a bad idea look good. AT ALL.

For starters, whoever wrote this needs to make a more catchy, MUCH MORE APPEALING ad, if he's to get this thing across. None of this plain stuff. If you were pitching this in The Apprentice, what would it take for you to PASS the test? Surely something better. This, on the other hand, is dull, dull, dull.

And as a post-scriptum, considering what I saw in the end, this is CERTAINLY NOT rated E.

1/5. Courtesy star because of the alright animation and sound.

ADASport responds:

Thanks for your feedback. We are always looking to evolve!

Commenters: the right is NOT for women to be single mothers, but for them to be treated with DIGNITY, not like they're the property of their parents or the person that'll marry them. Men and women, though biologically different, are equal in dignity and should be treated with equal respect.

Having been put in a similar position myself, I refused with whatever I knew how. Nolwandle tells us about something that goes on, not only in sub-saharan Africa, but in a lot of places -- even the Middle and Far East. (For the record, I originate from the Far East.)

Would you believe it that I have dreamt not only about this short film, but about my own review?

James, I must commend you for having done this video. Sure, a lot of people are going to look upon this with cynicism. That the plight of people in other parts of the world should be highlighted too. Sure, it should, but that doesn't make your cause any less worthy. The music, the narration, the animation -- it was all well put together, and for me, it hits home. Thank you for sharing this with us.

There's nothing I can criticise about the video in and of itself: I watched the raw animation first before listening to the music and the narration. Everything is fluid, natural, earthy and beautiful, just the way the sub-Saharan African aesthetic is.

5/5.

Let's break this down section by section.

ANIMATION/GRAPHICS
I agree with the reviewer below me that the animation can be a little stiff. The backgrounds and buildings and even the exterior of the train, however, are stunning, and that rising and falling snow.... *gasp of delight*

SOUNDS
There's a lot of effort put into the VAs, everyone was natural, believable and I especially loved how suave that girl with the blue hair was (I forget her name D: ). The High Consul sounded almost like a basso profondo version of The Hunger Games' President Snow. I was about to say the music was great too -- until I saw Hitoshi Sakimoto in the credits. No surprise there. ;-)

PLOT
Although I haven't actually seen the full series yet (this is my introduction to Dual Arms), I like what I'm seeing so far. It's gripping, it's fluid, and the way I look at it, there are a lot of things that are either resolved in later episodes, or would have been introduced in previous episodes. There weren't any cliffhangers; the story started well with a background premise of negotiation and tension, and ended well too. It still got me wanting more, which is definitely a plus.

VERDICT (TL;DR)
Stiff animation, excellent voice acting, excellent choice of music, very gripping plot. I wonder if this is a thriller of some sort... At any rate, I can tell that you've poured yourself into it, and I shall watch the other episodes when I'm next able.

4.5/5.

Alright, let's break this down section by section.

ANIMATION/GRAPHICS
The animation was quite alright -- not the most fluid (with the water splashes at times), but largely believable. I like how there's an orange hue to the animation in general, with the setting of the sun (or so it looks like).

SOUND
I find that in this case, the sound is the hook for anyone watching this film. It's so serene, it's so natural, and it can give inspiration to just about anyone listening. Beautiful work! Also, kudos on giving the poet emotion even when he doesn't have any spoken lines.

PLOT
Now this is what I call an effective plot. Many important things were said in a very short span of time --

1) If things get to you, stop, breathe, take time to not overwork yourself.
2) Inspiration comes where you least expect it (as was already said in the description).
3) If at first you don't succeed, try and try again.

In the span of just under two minutes, you showed us a man who wanted to dedicate himself to writing a beautiful piece of poetry but found it difficult to do this, and you effectively related to all the artists and musicians and writers and movie makers here who are in need of inspiration every now and again.

Also, great tribute to Matsuo Basho. : )

VERDICT (TL;DR)
Okay animation... I guess. Great sound, and especially solid plot. I honestly, honestly believe this should've scored higher than one or two things I found on the portal, but what's done is done, I guess. Thanks for sharing this with us, and thanks for inspiring us.

4.5/5.

RPGsrok responds:

Thank you sir for such a well thought out and detailed review! It's always a pleasure to receive one of these from someone who didn't merely enjoy the film, but took the time to explain that enjoyment, that I might improve further in the future.

This animation is about a year old now, and I feel my drawing and animation skills have improved drastically in that timeframe, but as an aspiring storyboard artist and director above all, it is heartwarming to hear that the story itself stood out to you the most.

As I said to one person below, it's thanks to people like you that these movies, even if they don't score as high as some other ones, find any welcome on Newgrounds, so many thanks to you, for watching, for enjoying, and for taking the time to share your thoughts!

Um... Let's divide everything one by one.

ANIMATION
The faces looked disfigured, and the other girl who isn't Tonya.... well... looked rather disproportionate. I don't know if this was meant to be a parody of some sort, but people have even put *effort* into making parodies (think SexualLobster, think RicePirate) -- at least they make the animation beautiful. This one's kinda hard on the eyes. Plus, Tonya looks like a man. With a mullet. Really not convincing.

SOUNDS
Are all three characters voiced by the same person? No VAs? All the characters sound masculine, and that gashes the production a lot more than the animation did. Tonya would've sounded more convincing if she had a Big Momma-sounding voice, or a girl's voice that gave out some sort of swagger. From what I see, Tonya looks like Big Momma, but hear me out. In the original Big Momma, AT LEAST Big Momma's role was played out quite well -- you had the falsetto voice and all, which made her sound like a woman of her age. Tonya, on the other hand, looks like a man, sounds like a man and almost behaves like a man -- and the VA ISN'T HELPING.

The background murmuring and chatter is fitting for the occasion, I guess.

PLOT
Shallow, shallow, shallow. I have to unfortunately agree with those reviewers who found that this clip has no substance. If this was a parody on white trash teens, this could've been made much, MUCH more hilarious with proper VAing. Okay, they meet in a party, Tonya has a crush on Danny, they meet up and get together, *and then what*? It just stops there. So much more could've been done! This, again, is the true definition of yaoi - yama nashi, ochi nashi, imi nashi (no peak, no denouement, no meaning).

Even those horrible, horrible depictions of Valley Girls and trash teens on TV back in the last decade were far better (anyone remember Kate and her posse from Lizzie McGuire?).

VERDICT (TL;DR)
Horrible animation, horrible VA-ing, okay sound effects, not much of a plot. It was hard on the eyes, hard on the ears and REALLY hard to laugh at.

0.5/5.

IPA: /tʁwɑ.niks/ || Singer-songwriter, multi-instrumentalist, visual artist, writer. Member of ARM Circle. Drummer with The Just Numbers.
Speaks in various tones of meeps.

Annette Singh @Troisnyx

28, Female

N/A

Lancashire, UK

Joined on 6/26/11

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