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I remember commenting on one of your other pieces about a lack of clarity, and it is present here too. However: I really like how you've divided it into comic strip panels a lot clearer here. I have a slightly better idea of what to make of this picture. Some bits are quite surrealist (those sharks up top, for example).

AdventVoice responds:

Well the clarity needed for this piece is found in the actual book: Red Shirts by John Scalza's
He was the one that came up with Ice Sharks. He said it.
From his words I just could not get out of my head what an Ice Shark would look like.
realistically: did not make me happy: A shark swimming in ice would not make you think of an Ice shark. You would think of an Orca. At least I would have.
In this man's world the bathroom was open to all genders and creatures and everyone made it out just fine. So I was wondering if in reality we could?

I feel your pain. My own father was one of these so-called "real men" and spoke with his fists to me, almost exclusively.

It's hard for me to make out what the figures in the art are doing, either because of a lack of clarity in the outlines or the colours, I cannot tell which.

AdventVoice responds:

Lack of clarity will be fixed over time when I find better mediums. The messages will get better too!
This is only the beginning.
There is a more elaborate explanation found at www.adventgradepress.com
In short:
Scene 1: The man and woman both love the dream the comes from the fight, the idea of money and the spotlight.
Scene 2: When there is no crowd, each has to weigh how much the fame, the money, the spotlight is worth it to them.
Scene 3: She is alone, she asked him to stay, don't fight, who cares, "ill love you, when or loose, leave it all, let the dream die, just don't fight."
Scene 4: The bell rings
Scene 5: He is hit a lot.
Scene 6 She can not take it, she can't look, he face getting hit is not worth it.
Scene 7 HE is winning, everything is going to be fine, it is worth it, He is so strong, can't wait to go home!
Scene 8: the Bell rings and no matter what we love our fighters. We love the strong man and strong woman.
The story of my life.

This entry is easily the best I've seen in this entire competition to date.

The proportions are on point, the shading is on point, and best of all, there's a beautiful contrast up the front that sets Ariel apart. That is easily the most striking part of the piece, the bit that draws me in. Don't get me wrong, everything else looks accomplished too -- but you've really got a hook in this piece, pardon the pun. (get it, hook, trident...?)

Just a stylistic choice I guess, one that doesn't make me want to dock points but I just feel... Flounder looks awfully like Flotsam and Jetsam. I'm not really a fan of that. That being said, just how Ariel looks after having taken Triton's place is imaginative. I don't know if for good, or for evil; I wouldn't be able to tell by her garb, her pose and her seeming enjoyment for all things scaly and bat-winged.

Anyway, props to you. Well done!

Djoresh responds:

Thank you for your lofty words and feedback. Personally I feel the proportions could be better and I was clueless about the lighting. (nice pun btw ;)

I felt the same way about the look of Flounder, It was a choice to keep him somewhat prehistoric and evil looking, as he would be like a pet/protector for Ariell. My mindset was the level one cute baby versions of dragons in games in contrast to their bad ass full level evolution.

I see what you mean with the bat like garb, I was aiming for a see trough fin-like protection, but I guess I failed that part, I didn't really had in mind if she was good or evil. I wanted her to look powerful and someone to not get on bad terms with. If she is good or evil I wanted to leave up to the imagination of the viewer.

Thanks again, and good luck in the competition with your kingdom hearts piece.

I love the symbolism of this piece, just thought I'd get that out of the way first. Also, the rosary up top was a nice touch. An important note about the symbolism though:

Pop culture can be an ill, but there isn't enough of it for the person to be drowning in your drawing. It feels so, uh, Captain Planet-esque. "Move into a new neighbourhood and you become a drug addict!" And this is what it feels like here. There isn't enough visualisation of context. It's like, oh, she's listening to Pink Floyd and playing with a Fidget spinner and so she must be lost in pop culture. We know that that IS NOT ENOUGH to make someone an obsessive type.

The picture actually brings out more questions than it does answers. What is she going through? Why isn't it visualised here? Why are we getting a namby-pamby, less-than-honest version? Alcohol and drugs are social ills but how did she get there? There are so many things that ought to have been put onto that drawing, that haven't.


But for all its symbolism, it's not striking, and it's not artistically competent. And I really cannot stress this enough:

1) Proportions. Every artist on Newgrounds will tell you how important anatomy studies are. It seems you have done some -- the hand up top looks far better than any other bodily part in this drawing -- but you still need to keep at it.

2) Shading. Where is the light coming from? Top right? If so, your shading doesn't reflect this. Light and shadow can make a very important statement in and of itself, and it's lacking here. Everything looks porcelain. Even things that aren't supposed to be porcelain, like the lady's hair or even her shirt. For a piece titled "Dark side of the moon," I don't see actual physical darkness -- which can actually heighten and enhance whatever symbolism you already have here.

3) Perspective. I know this one is a hard one to achieve; every artist struggles with this. Even I do, so I feel your pain with what I am about to say.

We look at things just by what they're supposed to represent, not a photographic memory necessarily. But if you tried to put this on a photo, for example, is this what you would see? If you had an actual lady doing what she was doing on a photo, is that what she would look like, her body squished like that?

This is where perspective comes in. Our eyes see things at different angles, but even front view has a perspective all of its own.


So what do I recommend?

Tutorials, and studies, and lots and lots of practice, for one. Ask any artist on NG and they'll tell you that to get from meh to great, they did precisely this.

I cannot stress this enough to you because I know that with a lot of practice, you'll turn this into a much better drawing.

PROFA21 responds:

First of all thank you for your input. I will work on other aspects and more, but i think you went way overboard with the rant !!! The project is about how teens are lost in the modern day, and i have witnessed a lot of them reaching out for help. there is high suicide rate n my city. This piece is God reaching out. I looked at your work, and it's average at best buddy. I'm not dissing you or nothing, but if a person was to judge our work. I'm pretty sure mine would stand out. I could pin point your driffty line work, and low color schemes into the same basic anime style, but i won't !!! I will thank you again for your input.

Right off the bat, I love the idea of the smoking guns. Also, his proportions look amazing. As far as drawing (not colouring, drawing) Yosemite Sam goes, you've stylised him well.

And now this brings me to the meat of the piece, the reason why I've docked a number of stars: shading.

You seem to have gotten a hang of hard and soft shading, but it still feels flat. It still feels like it lacks contrast. If I didn't know better, his hat would have looked like a massive egg sitting on his head. Those guns are chrome, man -- and they NEED hard contrast. Especially if you're intending them to be shiny. You see some really well-defined dark and light places on metal surfaces, so why aren't they here?

I mean, I talk about the guns and the bullets and things but the lack of contrast goes onto his clothes as well. I couldn't even tell that his shirt and trousers had creases until I zoomed in. For something to pop, it must be visible from a distance as well. Had I not zoomed in, I'd have thought his entire body was made out of porcelain.

Tom-Par responds:

Cheers for the review. I'm still getting my head around contrasting shades and that, it's something i'm working on. I usually have hard outlines on my work so I thought i'd try a bit of artwork without any lines, but you're right the contrast isn't there. If I get time i'll work on it a bit more taking on board what you said. Thanks for the feedback, really helpful.

I really wish you put in as much effort with the background as you did with Mike's face. And sure, the face is a giveaway but much of the rest of it screams to me, "fuck, I didn't bother with the rest."

I did smile a little bit over the thought of LV99 Mike being somehow morbidly obese. It's an alright idea, I'll grant you that.

You have an amazing eye for detail, like on his face and on his jacket (THAT IS VERY WELL DONE BTW <3), but everything else seems like nothing more than a rough sketch. The loincloth doesn't even look like cloth; it isn't shaded like cloth. And it also has the same shading as the rest of his body (especially the arms). This shouldn't be happening. Which is harder of a surface to you? Different shading gives different textures as you may already well know. Also, I cannot tell apart the fingers from the rest of the hands. It's strange because from a distance, all your other work looks far better defined than this.

And sure, I understand that you don't want to take away from the BG and you want to focus on the character. But that could've been done with lighting, and choice of colour, rather than the appalling shading at the background. A good way to tell apart if you've used contrast well is to turn the entire image into greyscale, and see if you can tell the difference between light and shadow in your piece.

LeCanart responds:

yes i am agrre with you, the truth is that i don´t have so much time rigth now, i really appreciate your coment i will keep practicing, even if i don´t win i take so much learning from this, and yes i have to practice textures, clothing particularly.

Bright colours, neat outlines, a bold stroking style, amazing amount of detail and really bold shading in the back... Apart from me bemoaning the lack of background, this thing is mightily well done!

P.S. I like how Charizard almost has a six-pack. XD

DragonloreStudios responds:

I really drew a blank on what to do for a BG i also didn't want to distract to much from charizard aswell XD also thanks :D

That is actually my favourite out of all your pieces thus far. Vibrant colours, effective shading, bold outlines, lots of facial expression and energy. I *feel* this drawing a lot!

Lourdjim responds:

thank you very much! were you the one who scouted me thank you very much!!!

I could say what I am about to say for this piece, but I could also say so in general for a lot of your work. From a distance, it looks alright; up close, it lacks depth. And it pains me to say what I just said, because your composition is quite good.

I mean, here, for instance. You, as the artist, know where the creases and details are on Link's clothes. To me, the viewer, they don't look well defined at all. Apart from that white little diamond thing on Link's right sleeve, everything lacks crispness and definition. Link has paper arrows, it appears to me -- I know it's not the case, and so do you.

In fact, I could safely say it's the shading styles that are causing this lack of depth. Don't get me wrong, it works in a couple places -- Link's hair for instance, or the wood on the back of his shield. And to a degree, his boots too. The shadows on the fingers are really well done as well. But everything else seems to use this same kind of shading, from hard surfaces to soft ones. The cliffs are shaded just like Link's hair and trousers, for example. It just doesn't *feel* right. And I know, because I've made the same mistakes before when I used GIMP some six years ago and drew in this style, and felt something just didn't feel right.

Now that I've gone on the negatives, let me go to the biggest positive I've seen in this drawing.

Your anatomy and knowledge of poses is amazing. And I mean, sure, every artist has to do work on anatomy to be able to draw half decently, but you appear to have a clear grip on it here. Also, Link's facial features are so well-defined, they give him a sort of tribal look. I like. Probably the best-defined thing in the entire piece.

TL;DR: Amazing anatomy and pose. Good composition. Please, please, please work on your shading. I know the image would look absolutely majestic but I just don't feel it right about now.

Crickety responds:

Thanks so much for this review. I'm so glad to hear what's missing in the drawing.

I myself have found it to lack depth but for some reason couldn't find what caused that. Shading is something I find really difficult and I'm still learning how light works, if that makes sense. I was also in a hurry while making this piece and lost interest because it took way too long, which obviously is the last thing I should do; rushing it instead of taking a break. I will definitely work even harder on both texture and shading now I know it needs improvement.

It's funny how you say my knowledge for anatomy and poses are amazing, because I feel like there are many mistakes in many of things I have made. But thanks so much for acknowledging that!

I'm glad to have scouted you, because your later drawings have all been beautifully dynamic. Here, too -- peak!Wall-E probably risks crushing original!Wall-E and it's both hilarious and sad at the same time. I initially thought you'd put the whole thing through Blender or something like that, because it looks just like that, like you'd rendered it on a 3D program. The concept is genius.

Not sure about the composition, because it feels a bit flat... It feels like I'm just the casual bystander in this thing. I guess perspective, or even just the angle from which we're drawing things, can create a dramatic effect (I imagine it'd be even more effective seeing this in almost total frontal view). Then again, we'd only see the front facade of peak!Wall-E, but the concept could be more frightening that way.

Background is simple, and plays its part well.

I'd be happy to pass the torch on to people like yourself. You're only gonna get better from here, and I hope it may continue for a long time.

CKCreative responds:

Really grateful for getting in touch, I have a hell of a way to go with my art and I take any constructive comments gladly so thank you for that its the way I like to grow and hear thing I haven't picked up previously.

like all people who have a passion to draw I look back at pieces and realise what I have done wrong, i'm my own worse enemy as I do try and hurry the piece, however I did take more time than I thought I would and glad I did.

This piece was done in only Photoshop

Pronounced "trwa-nix." I dream up meepy dreams full of meep.
Currently doing things nonprofit.

Annette Singh @Troisnyx

29, Female


Lancashire, UK

Joined on 6/26/11

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