Answering this question for those of you who found an adult submission coming from me in your feeds. I'm aware that this might come across to you as scandalous.

Let me rephrase myself: I don't do stereotypical A-rated stuff. The typical work in the adult category is pornographic, let's face it. But answering the questions honestly over an artistic nude subject would lead me to an automatic A rating. "Some" nudity falls immediately into M, while "lots of" (i.e. full) nudity falls immediately into A. And I speak from my heart here; it is terrifying to attempt to treat the nude human body with respect, and then have it lumped in the same category as the rest of the twaddle that can be found in the adult category. So, long story short, I crossed an unthinkable bridge.

But the few people with whom I confided the process of this drawing know that I attempted this nude subject with the intention of respecting the human body, treating it as something to be regarded with awe and Eden-like innocence, and not with lust and salivating. I probably suck horribly at trying to convey this, but I pray God that the intention may shine through, somehow... somehow...

Feel free to like it, or dislike it. Feel free to stay with me, or to depart from me. It is a natural process of liking and disliking a piece of art. My intention is that every piece, whatever its rating, conveys a message of its own, a message that can't be forced upon me by the people around me. I open myself to everything that may ensue as a result of posting this piece of work.

In other news, remember I said the long-awaited appeal hearing is on 1 July?

Well, that looks like it's gonna be postponed now.

You know why? Because the Home Office included the covers of two pieces of evidence, but not the contents. Excluding evidence that is vital to the trial? These were things that I had written, journals. The Home Office has the final version of one of them. Yep, that doesn't help matters. Welp, tomorrow, I find out IF it gets postponed, or not.... but just to let you all know, postponement seems likely. I'll update this post tomorrow as soon as I hear something about the date of this hearing.

Yes, it is annoying. 

It's a junior snare drum! -- well, I've always wanted to record a snare drum and practise rudiments and stuff, and having a junior snare is a really good start. Plus, it came in my favourite colour. <3

Inverted commas on the "new" because we can probably safely guess this is secondhand.

I gave it a play, and it has a really nice rattle. The snares don't extend all the way to the end of the resonant head, but they do give off a nice sound. And yes, it is small -- but it is something.

I've been looking really impish when playing this. Heheheh. I haven't been gripping the sticks right (fingers shouldn't stick out and hands shouldn't be stiff), but hopefully, I may get better at this.

So how did I chance upon one, you ask?

Well, Seán was at the car boot sale today in the centre of Preston and he chanced upon three drums -- a snare and two toms, for the incredible price of £5! It was an amazing find, and he wouldn't pass it up. (Or so he felt that I'd be mad at him, but to be honest, I wouldn't have been mad.) I decided to keep the snare drum because I feel I'm going to use that the most, and the other two drums are in storage. They've been neatly wrapped in plastic bags and duct tape, and they're as airtight as we can make them.

In other news, the long-awaited appeal is on 1 July. Just a week to go. The witnesses have been called, the documents have been sent and are being processed, the tribunal is good to go. Please, please pray for me, send me good thoughts. I appreciate your support, and honestly can't thank you enough.

...and since I am not in the right frame of mind to muster any music, you probably may have seen me churn out quite a few pieces this month. Depression and fear for my life and liberty have brought out a lot of these pieces -- I found drawing quite therapeutic, and at least it could help me get some practice, I felt.

But this has to stop. One side effect of this is that it gets difficult for me to breathe.

The room in which I'm typing this stinks of marker fumes. Seán, whose breathing isn't great, informs me first about how bad the air in the room has become. Then, a little while later, I feel the effects. My head aches and my chest is tight, but I'm a stubborn sod -- I just can't stop until it gets too unbearable, or if I feel I've done enough. I tend to bend over when I'm drawing, too, and that causes my entire body to ache.

I have one last drawing to post, and that'll probably be posted online in the next few days. After that, I'm taking a break from drawing altogether... for a while.

This last drawing I've got going (for now, of course) is very special to me, given what I'm going through. It's very special to anyone who stands for the freedom of speech, and the freedom to walk the streets without an inane fear of saying the wrong thing. I look forward to finishing it, and I hope you all may anticipate it as much as I do.

I also am aware that talking about my current status is going to make me lose friends, rather than gain any. Frankly, I couldn't care less. I'm sick and tired of hiding my fears over my life and liberty, even though I know the vast majority of people probably aren't going to lift a finger to help. I am sick and tired.

You can imagine what sort of tone it's going to take.

And I'm going to write on many, many more sheets like these. Right now, I'm keeping these ones safe.

How does that make it to the News Forum, of all things...

It ain't a hurricane, but my word, it is bad.

Doesn't help that Liverpool is close to home and is our second favourite city in all of the world.

I've gained a little confidence to play the harp publicly, although I probably will need more practice with it if my repertoire is to be as varied as I'd like it to be. But I've become comfortable with Síle, as I like to call my harp. Confidence has not been an easy thing to build for me altogether... as evidenced by my reactions to various things on Newgrounds and elsewhere.

Just thought I'd share this quick picture that Seán took of me when I was playing the harp in his room -- I was playing as a form of prayer, playing hymns that I knew how to sing. Incidentally, at the time he took this picture, the sun was setting.

I hope the time will come when I may be able to bring Síle to live performances, open mics and whatever, and share some improvs with you all.

In other news.... I've received dates for my asylum appeal quite a while back; I just didn't find any reason to write about them till now. Case management is set for 17 June, and the full hearing is set for 1 July. I am scared for my life (to be fair, I always have been scared for my life, but I have even more reason to be, at this point in my life).

I pray not only for success in this hearing, but also that I may heal from everything I've been put through, and that this period in my life (as well as much of my past) may one day be nothing more than a distant memory, a demon successfully exorcised.

My mind is in absolute turmoil, and those closest to me have had to deal with my many panic attacks and all sorts of trouble coming from me. Please pray for me, and/or send me some good thoughts. They'll be much appreciated.

First of all, I want to thank you lot for your support with the last post I wrote on here. It's been a bit of a roller-coaster ride. My friends have been coming forward with witness statements about this, that and the other that the Home Office neglected to put into their detailed reasons of refusal. That, and I'm seeking legal representation for this appeal. Beyond that, I will do my absolute best to fight this cause.

Many people have said that I have a strong case, and that the Home Office was sloppy in disregarding chunks of evidence.

Let me say also for the record that in the detailed reasons of refusal of my asylum, the Home Office does not believe that Troisnyx (or TroisNyxEtienne) and Annette Singh are one and the same person. So, for the record, let me clear it up for those folks here on this very page: TROISNYX, TROISNYXETIENNE AND ANNETTE SINGH ARE THE SAME PERSON. FULL STOP. There. I already made my name public through the Art section of my page, but some people just aren't willing to do basic research to prove my identity. Sigh.

It is a trying time for me and Seán and all those around me. Please pray for us, or send us good thoughts. They will all be appreciated.

In other news, I did mention in Asandir's interview of me last year about the Easter Triduum. Just as I did last year, I'm practising with the choir at St Wilfrid's in Preston -- I am assuming the role of timpanist once again, among other roles (harp, soprano and descant vocals, general nuisance, chief tripper-upper, provider of chocolates...). These videos from today's practice are the first to go on my YouTube channel since.... New Year's Day 2014, it has seriously been that long. I am embedding this playlist for your general enjoyment. Hope you folks like it!

P.S.: To all the timpanists out there on NG, if anyone of you should make comments about my general demeanour while playing.... I only have this to say. Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa.

In September 2013, I mentioned that I have been fighting an intense battle for my future, my dreams, my life and my liberty, and that who I am as a person is at stake, and my freedoms are at stake. This battle is far from over.

I think it's about time I made the details of this battle public.

I am an asylum seeker.

And I know first-hand what it's like to be tarred with the same brush as many other people seeking asylum, to be called a benefit scrounger, although I have never claimed any finances from the state. That is only the stigma, and only part of the problem...

I am originally from Malaysia. For a long time there, I had been abused for my race in various situations in which the authorities could have intervened -- in school, as a conscript for a three-month National Service stint, and elsewhere. The abuse is physical, verbal, mental and emotional. I have also written articles and human rights dossiers detailing the extent of human rights abuses in Malaysia, both during my time in Malaysia and during my time in Britain.

Malaysia has draconian security laws, and every human rights organisation I have searched on the internet testifies to this. The most notorious of these laws, which is used to prosecute people who don't remotely have a case, is the Sedition Act 1948. In an era of the internet, globalisation, and increased awareness of human rights, it's hard to believe that sedition is really a thing. But it is... and it's scary. Say the wrong thing, and you could be tried -- and if you're let off, you'd perhaps be imprisoned without trial. This is what I face, and it scares me to death.

So anyone who is even slightly critical of the government could be done in under Malaysian law.

I am currently fighting an appeal against a decision from the Home Office, which I read and found severely lacking in research, and also failed to mention all the sources that I presented during the process so far.

Up till now, I had been so afraid of even mentioning it... because of the stigma, and because of the notion that if I ever said anything which was critical of the Malaysian government, I would be a traitor and a coward. I am tossing all that aside now, while writing this post.

In addition, the only immediate family I have left is my dad... who is still in Malaysia and heavens know where he is. Honestly, I don't know where he lives. The only communication I have with him is via e-mail, and that in itself is sporadic. Go to Human Rights Watch and you'll find a report or two of people of Indian descent being shot sporadically in the streets in Malaysia by the police, who subsequently make allegations that these people approached the police with machetes. There is a long-running stereotype that any leader of a gang is of Indian descent, and because they target the Malay majority and make it unsafe for them, there is now a "shoot first, talk later" policy. I am of Indian descent, and so is my dad..... he could be shot for going out one evening just for being at the wrong place at the wrong time. And, if I ever go back there, the same could happen to me. I am terrified.

I ask for your prayers and good thoughts, and anything you can muster. Thanks.

I will admit I am writing this while tired and weary, but it's about time all this was made known.

My first lyrics video and video game song cover in nearly two years. With the recent file loss I had, I am starting on a blank slate. I'm excited to share this with you all once it is done.